Kim Zolciak has given you the opportunity of a lifetime--she's opened her own ebay store. As a Real Housewives of Atlanta expert, I can tell you that there are some real bargains just waiting to take a chunk out of your 401(k). The following is my exclusive analysis on two of the items up for auction.
1. The buy-it-now price for this iconic dress (size not specified):
Only $4500! Before bidding, I recommend asking the seller whether the gown comes with any cigarette burns. If the answer is yes, BUY BUY BUY. It is details like this that will help authenticate the gown when the Smithsonian comes calling (and I happen to know that it is quietly collecting memorabilia for its Trashy Reality TV exhibition).
2. Every girl needs a pay-for-play dress, and this stunner will run you $3000.
As a woman who is au courant in the area of slutty fashion, Kim knows that sometimes you need to spend the big bucks to look like a cheap street whore. However, despite its obvious beauty, I do have reservations about this dress. Although the seller does not mention it, my keen eye tells me that it reeks of desperation and Forever Mariah Carey, both of which are difficult scents to remove. Buyer beware!
You can find more in her ebay store, Kim Z Couture Closet. As of right now, there are no singed wigs or previously used bikini bottoms for sale, but I wouldn't be surprised if they start showing up in the next few days as the bidding on the gowns heats up. Kim's clothes and accessories are true investment pieces; if your financial advisor tells you any differently, he's just a hater. You and I both know that one could never regret emptying his or her bank account to own an item worn by the woman who inspired the words "CLOSE YA LEGS TO MARRIED MEN!" and almost got her ass beat by Sheree. Don't let your "better judgment" hold you back--buy now before someone else snaps up your future. Good luck!
Monday, June 14, 2010 
