Tuesday, April 20, 2010 1.
Wish we could see what Andy Cohen was doing to Jane Krakowski's butt. She looks...uncomfortable, and a wee bit startled. (photo from here)
2. Not surprising: fisticuffs during the taping of Real Housewives of Altanta. Surprising: It's between NeNe and Dwight. Good God, is he insane? NeNe could squash him like a grape with one stomp of her foot.
3. And finally, a heartfelt apology card
available here.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010 
This will just take a moment and then you can get back to your bitches.
1. I do not appreciate the Real Housewives of Orange County two week time-out over the holidays. Not only does it interrupt my carefully plotted and timed tv-watching rhythm, but let's wrap this shit UP already. In the time RHOC has not aired, I have completely lost all interest. My advice would be to air the remaining episodes on a Wednesday morning and start fresh with Real Housewives of NYC this Thursday night. I am dying to see how Jill and Bethenny's break up goes down, and I want to know how the Countess is handling her divorce from Count Viagra. Oh, and don't tell anyone, but I am kind of missing those gd freaks Alex and Simon. Shhhh!
2. Rumor (i.e. your twitter feed) has it that you are bringing back Work Out's Jackie Warner. I can't decide whether to tell you to stop this nonsense immediately or OMG, HURRY! She is absolutely riveting in her self-centered awfulness and hypocrisy. I just learned from her website that she's had 100% turnover with her trainers so there will a be a fresh group of employees for her to assault with her wrecking ball ego and vagina. Oh, how can I resist?
Rebecca: "Jackie, I love you! I'm glad you seduced me so unprofessionally in the workplace!"
Jackie: "Wow, how ironic, because I'm breaking up with you! And you're fired. Would you like to meet my new girlfriend?"
3. My New Year's resolution is to avoid Millionaire Matchmaker at all cost.
4. This last item is not related to Bravo, but I thought you should know. My husband Frank and I are very competitive. VERY. It keeps our love alive. However, it's usually a sad story for me because he creams my ass in pretty much everything, especially when it comes to video games. Then he gloats. Oh, the gloating!
WELL. It is with barely suppressed glee that I announce that I hold the records at our house for Wii Fit Plus Ski Slalom and Ski Jumping, records that he will NEVER beat. Ever! I'm that good. (I also hold the record for hula hooping, but we both have agreed that it's a not a real sport. Kind of like NASCAR.)
That's all. Thanks for your time and keep your pimp hand strong, my man.
Friday, December 18, 2009 Catch a barfing disease from your 5 year old. ARGH.
More good news: I was able to watch the Real Housewives of Orange County and Watch What Happens Live, completely uninterrupted, while quarantined in the guest bedroom.
Wasn't it fascinating to watch Vicki's performance last night? I wonder if Coto University offers a course on How to Manipulate and Control Friends through Tears, Pouting and Creepy Stares.
She literally brought Tamra to her knees! That is some expert work right there. More on this later.
Did anyone else watch Sarah Jessica Parker and Andy Cohen on WWHL? Andy sparkled, but SJP was so diplomatic and self-deprecating that she came off as completely without personality. I was waiting for her to give an honest opinion on at least one of the trivial subjects Andy was quizzing her on, but she never did. I have to trust that in private, she does have opinions about She by Sheree and crappy fake hair and Tiger Woods and Voltaggios vs. Kevin but we didn't get any of that. Disappointing. I did, however, appreciate her reference to Shawn Cassidy and comparing Andy's show to public access television.
Congrats to Porkchop for winning Top Chef fan favorite. Andy did ask him about going through a split with his wife during the last few challenges, and he said "I don't want to use that as an excuse." So it is confirmed. Did anyone else think he still looks really sad about his loss/personal life?
Please, GIVE IT TO ME in the comments.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 
I've been looking at it for about 10 minutes now and I still can't tear myself away. I think I want to...motorboat Andy Cohen's furry chest? Yes. Yes, I do.
Remember the reports of Kim Zolciak demanding more money to appear on the Real Housewives of Atlanta? Well, Kim has turned out to be a wily negotiator--recently she pulled out her secret weapon: The Lesbian Rumor. Her alleged lover is the lady in the middle of that gay manwich up there, 9th grade algebra teacher Miami DJ Tracy Young. Can you hear Bravo panting? Read more juicy details here.
(By the way, I know some sites are saying that Kim has already been fired, but I can't find any confirmation from a reputable--and I use that word hesitantly in this context--source. If you can, email my know-it-all ass.)
Don't forget the Top Chef reunion tonight. I don't know if I can bear to watch my sweet Porkchop put on a brave face for the cameras.
If there is any justice in the world, he will win fan favorite.
Thoughts?
Monday, June 22, 2009 
and I LIKE IT.
Read the LA Times article about his new show, one in which we will get to participate. I can't wait!
(Nice set design on the RHNJ reunion show, huh? Please excuse me while I go swallow a handful of Advil.)