Because I know you care.

Atlanta hobag Kim Zolciak and her feisty publicist have reconciled. Thank God! The sad news is that her website will shut down for good on March 30.

Note to Kim: for the love of GOD, would you please ease up on the make-up? You are the inspiration behind the phrase "hot tranny mess."

Recession hits Atlanta skanks

OUCH.

I cannot top the comment of the always brilliant Anonymous, who said, "LMAO...there's a tightrope...And your ass fell off of it." !!!

Maybe it's time for Kim to get a jobby job.

What's going on with She by Sheree?

I thought you'd never ask!

Remember when Sheree claimed to the world that she'd be debuting her She by Sheree fashion line at New York Fashion Week? I think we all did a collective "bitch, please. Do you think they just let anyone in?"

Well, New York Fashion Week is upon us and I just thought I'd confirm what we already knew: she's not there. In an interview with essence.com, the wily Sheree explains:

No, I’m not showing at Fashion Week. My line will be in stores in the fall and my Web site, ShereeWhitfield.com, is up. 2009 is a hot year. Barack is going into office and Michelle Obama is by his side. She’s awesome and is a great example. 2009 is Sheree’s year, girl. Let my haters be my motivators.

Brilliant move, Sheree. Just randomly throw the Obamas in there and no one will remember all of the total bullshit that comes out of your mouth in regard to your non-existent fashion line. GOOD GOD, do you really think we are that stupid?

You know what else, Sheree? I love the fact that you ended your answer with your trademark cliche, "let your hater be your motivator." !!! Sheree, as one of your haters, I shall respond in turn with another tired expression: don't hate the playa, hate the game. If you didn't make these grand statements about how She by Sheree is going to be on the runways in Milan and Paris, your number of haters would be reduced by half. Well, maybe not that much--you attract haters like Lindsay Lohan attracts lines of coke. It's magnetic.

For more of Sheree's lame cliches (bizarrely categorized under "photos") and meaningless hype (a new workout dvd), visit Sheree's website. Actually, don't. It's a complete waste of your time.

Oh my GOD, I have a headache. Thanks a lot, Sheree! I'm going to go pop some Advil and eat a box of Girl Scout cookies. Don't forget the Real Housewives of NYC premiere tonight--are you ready? Check back in later this afternoon for an update on why I (almost) feel sorry for the Countess.

Two minor celebrities, a socialite, and a wig walk into a bar...

Take it away, my friends.

UPDATE: Some of you didn't recognize these women, which tells me you need to be reading more Perez Hilton. Or maybe I need to read less. Anyhow, left to right: Michelle Trachtenberg, Sophia Bush, the dastardly Olivia Palermo and Kim "I almost had cancer" Zolciak.

photo from here (obv)

Here's the deal

1. I feel that I owe you an explanation for not covering the past two episodes of Real Housewives of Orange County. Quite honestly, I have really been trying to re-dedicate myself to watching tv as God intended, which means eating ice cream and drinking in every word without taking notes that say things like "Tamra--boobies everywhere--wtf?" That being said, I fully intend to cover tonight's episode because we not only have Josh's heroin addiction, but ALSO a cast member leaving the show. !!! If that's not a recipe for heart-stopping drama, then I don't know what is.

I was going to suggest that we all take a guess as to who the QUITTER is, but spoilers abound. Check it out here if you don't want to be surprised.

If you didn't watch the first two episodes, don't sweat it. It's business as usual on that show, which is to say plastic surgery, backstabbery and gold diggery.

2. Many of you have emailed me about NeNe's housing problems. I had thought it was kind of old news because it was out in the open (at least to people who get NeNe google alerts)(doesn't everyone?) that the house on the show was rented and that she actually lives in a condo now. Anyhow, my very favorite a part of all of this is NeNe's response to the press, "it's none of your business!" which I imagine was said emphatically, complete with bug-eyes and a finger wagging. Love her, evicted or not.

3. Another classic NeNe quote: "He is a fox, and I am his girlfriend." I wonder if Dwight feels threatened? For those of you who would also like to be Anderson Cooper's girlfriend, I suggest you get a penis and also read this article on How to Hunt Anderson Cooper. Funny.