What say you?

House Beautiful selected Jeff Lewis to design its 2010 Kitchen of the Year, which was recently unveiled in Rockefeller Center.  Here he is giving a tour to the pervy (am I the only one who thinks that?) Al Roker, and no, that is not me screaming at the beginning of the clip:

(If you're unable to view the video, photos are here.)

The kitchen was loved by readers of Habitually Chic but mercilessly trashed on If the Lampshade Fits.  What do you think?  Beautiful and clean or boring and outdated?

On a related note, in the video Jeff is explaining that he doesn't have food in his own kitchen. "I just have alcohol," he jokes.  Well, I thought he said "I just had alcohol."   So my heart started racing and I was all "OMG HE IS DRUNK IN THE MORNING!  ON NATIONAL TV!  I LOVE HIM!!!!"  Then I went to his website and wrote an email to him to that effect.   So I would just like make public apology to Jeff since he has probaby marked all of my email as spam.  Jeff Lewis, I am so sorry.  Obviously I was the one who was drunk in the morning (though thank God not on national tv).

I hope you caught his appearance with RHONJ's Danielle on Watch What Happens Live.   He might have been a little buzzed then, but I can't be sure.  It's probably best for me to stop speculating about his sobriety.  Anyhow, he was sparkling and funny and Danielle was humorless and bony, which made for a magical show indeed.  If you missed it, here is a clip from the aftershow.

I hope you have a defibrillator nearby

because Jeff Lewis is yelling at his staff, oh God the yelling, and there's scary drumbeat music and Zoila escapes and some woman that is not me wants to have a private meeting, ALONE, with Jeff.  You must watch this preview for season 4 of Flipping Out:

(click through if you can't see the clip because it is mandatory viewing)

The only thing that's saving me right now is this:

It sets my loins afire!  But what the hell is wrong with that baby?

The season premieres on August 10.  Read more here (including the shocking news that Jett's last name is Pink).

In other Bravo news, the country's finest archaeologists have been working day and night digging up New York City looking for lost footage of the Real Housewives of New York City.  I am happy to report that they finally found it!  (Jill had buried it in an enormous bag of Ginger's poo along with 20 copies of the Coutness' cd and a bloody copy of Bethenny's book.)  Watch it TONIGHT.

Let the flames be a metaphor for our love

An angel named Suzy flew down from heaven yesterday to email me hot-off-the-presses pictures of Jeff and Jenni at El Pollo Loco's annual grilling competition.   She reported that they were super-nice and that Jenni asked to try on one of the mascot costumes.  My heart swells with joy.

Thank you, Suzy, from the bottom of my desperate, aching heart.

In other news:

A few of you have been busting my chops for flaking out on the recaps.  It is true, I have been lax in my duties to you and I feel tremendous guilt and shame.  I want you to know that this blog is a labor of love, and the bulk of the recaps are written after 10pm.  Sometimes during this late night time slot, I am forced to attend to urgent business on facebook, such as looking at pictures of people I haven't spoken to since junior high.  On other nights, I find that it is a better use of my time to lay completely immobile on the couch while watching Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. 

It's not that I don't care about you, it's just that I often find it difficult to get shit done late at night.  If recapping was my day job, I would churn it OUT for you.  Yes I would.  But for now, I will continue to be inconsistent with the recaps and to exercise my God-given right to ignore Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Except for this.

Oh stop!  You know you wish you could work a pole like that.

Thanks for reading; I really do appreciate it.  Crazy blazing ass-burning chicken love to all of you.

Two-fer

Yardwork featuring trashcan and outline of Blackberry, 2010 (part of the photographic series Frank's Butt)

Flipping Out's Jeff Lewis with client Chazzzzz.  Finally, I understand what Katy Perry means about hottness melting my popsicle.

Tonight on the everlasting Real Housewives of New York City reunion,  Sonja teaches Kelly how to count to four and Ramoner's neck retreats further into her shoulders:

(click through if you can't see the video)

Your fix.

Prepare to get HIGH on Jeff, Jenni and Zoila. 

(click through if you can't see the video.)

 Bad boy!

Real Housewives of New York City just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?  I am extremely pleased.  Your recap is in the works.