Let the flames be a metaphor for our love
Friday, June 18, 2010 An angel named Suzy flew down from heaven yesterday to email me hot-off-the-presses pictures of Jeff and Jenni at El Pollo Loco's annual grilling competition. She reported that they were super-nice and that Jenni asked to try on one of the mascot costumes. My heart swells with joy.
Thank you, Suzy, from the bottom of my desperate, aching heart.
In other news:
A few of you have been busting my chops for flaking out on the recaps. It is true, I have been lax in my duties to you and I feel tremendous guilt and shame. I want you to know that this blog is a labor of love, and the bulk of the recaps are written after 10pm. Sometimes during this late night time slot, I am forced to attend to urgent business on facebook, such as looking at pictures of people I haven't spoken to since junior high. On other nights, I find that it is a better use of my time to lay completely immobile on the couch while watching Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.
It's not that I don't care about you, it's just that I often find it difficult to get shit done late at night. If recapping was my day job, I would churn it OUT for you. Yes I would. But for now, I will continue to be inconsistent with the recaps and to exercise my God-given right to ignore Real Housewives of New Jersey. Except for this.
Oh stop! You know you wish you could work a pole like that.
Thanks for reading; I really do appreciate it. Crazy blazing ass-burning chicken love to all of you.
Reader Comments (23)
when your spread eagle be sure to 'always engage ... then suggest'
or when you are ...
Jenni depresses me.
But...but why...but why does Jenni's flame costume have a penis??? Someone help me, its 7:45 am and I haven't been able to sleep yet.
Also, if you EVER post a picture of Danielle's spreadd eagled, bespandexed crotch with the words 'blazing ass burning chicken love' EVER AGAIN, you are dead to me. DED.
I heart you...
I LOVE Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, and Guy Fieri is so much hotter than Jeff.
Little Edie, is that what she SAID? Oh no no no. What was the context? Why was she teaching people how to strip?
1st anon, I think she's funny but I respect your opinion.
Stacy, it was too small and she couldn't strap the crotch. That picture of Danielle was a mean trick wasn't it?
Gina, I heart you too.
2nd anon, OMG! That show has me drooling. I do love Guy Fieri but hotter than Jeff? NO.
SGM,
The whole "I'll do anything for a laugh" shtick: Someone people, like Jack Black, can work it, and some, like Jenni, just come off kind of sad and weak, I guess.
ANDY COHEN'S DEBUT AS A WRITER !!!!? http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Real-Housewives-Get-Personal/Creators-of-The-Real-Housewives/e/9780811874168/?itm=48
Sort of like Kelly you have the right to write or not to write, or to wear fur or not to wear fur, or to eat processed foods or not eat processed foods. See, you two really have a lot in common. KIDDING!!! JUST KIDDING!!!
Oy Vey could you even imagine a picture of your mom looking like this on the internet where all your friends can see it?
Hope I can post a 10th of the hilarity in my blog content that you gives us SGM. I am a dedicated reader and understand you have a life....and a love for Guy Fieri. Seriously how does his camaro get to all those places he visits? Danielle's comment about suggest etc made me want to hurl. Did you get a look at her audience? Her friends are like dogs....hanging around hoping they get some scraps. Gross. She has a buttah face. Cant wait till her breasts are discussed by a surgeon in a future episode-barf.
SGM - yes, it was at the pretend Bada-Bing after she was spread eagle. She was working the pole when she turned her head to the wanna-be Soprano 'boys', opened her leg to the side for a nice Britney and said, 'always engage, then suggest'. Not long after she was talking about it raining money. She did have the square boobage well concealed though.
I think Jenni is fabulous and LOOKS fabulous in that green dress. She even looks good with that flaming schlong hanging down!
Jenni's got better junk than Chazz.
I love that Jenny. Always up for a good laugh and chance to mortify JL. Where I can buy those flame tights!?! I wanna sport those babies with a leotard while riding my bike this summer on the 114 degree days. Ok- back to the real topic - Your slacker ass. Truth be told? I could care less if you post a whole recap or not. Your one liners are enough for me as they're awesome and it's really all the entertaining comments that keep me coming back. I love you just as you are.
Why do you tease us with inconsequential pics of Jenny and Danielle? A picture of Zoila is all I need for food for the soul. Zoila, Zoila, you beautiful creature!!
Oh, sweet pea. I get it 100%. I do the bulk of my real work from 4pm on, when Paul gets home from work. Unfortunately, that is also the time that I want to veg out on the couch, after having watched the baby all day. So, I usually do my work while drinking at the computer. I think I'm going to get the Bravo TV Real Housewives book as my serious summer read.
darn, i love your recaps. but i understand. RHONJ is getting old, with the Danielle thing, though. always fighting, looking for a fight, picking a fight, even her own children know she's off her nut. Dina was the sensible one, and she bolted. i don't blame her. all the Danielle vs. 'them' drama is getting O.L.D.
We all know what she is.
It's a grim, grim day when Jenny in a schlonged fire chicken suit is followed up by Danielle's Y at the Bada Bonk. Hide everyone, the rapture is coming.
I'm a slave for you. "I'll take what I can get"
;)
I KNEW you'd become a Facebook junkie!!!!
Love you!
the pictures of jenni just made my day. when does their show come back anyway? god, i miss him.