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I was perusing Lucky magazine's Cute Outfit of the Day and went all the way back to November 4 to bring you this gem:

A oversized chambray blazer with rolled-up sleeves, paired with a patchwork shirt.  What I want to know is, why stop there?  Why not go all the way and accessorize it with an Olgivie home perm, high-waisted pants, and these babies:

Some nude pantyhose and Santa earrings would finish off the look nicely. What I'm trying to say is that chambray jackets, especially of the XXL variety, are never, ever cute or even appropriate.  Unless you work at the DMV--that's the one exception.

I'm not going to talk about Top Chef, except to tell you that I couldn't even watch the last 15 minutes.  Much to intense for my sensitive soul--I had to turn it off and take a breather.  Then someone spoiled it for me, and I have to admit, it was a relief.  Now I don't have to witness Padma crushing anyone's dreams, nor do I have to watch the winner supress the urge to fistpump and scream with joy.  If you want to watch it, knock yourself out.  The three finalists are on Watch What Happens Live tonight.  I think I will actually watch because I love my little Porky Pie Kevin. 

On the Real Housewives of Orange County tonight, Lynne and Raquel get their faces all cut up while Gretchen and Tamra have a fight.  Again.

Love you bitches.  xoxo

Lucky Magazine and the French Revolution

This has been the main feature on Lucky's website for a few days now, and every time I see it, I think I must be hallucinating:

I can't even process the fact that we are supposed to be clamoring to win an outfit from Target.

Nothing against Target. Who doesn't love Target? I own clothes from Target and I understand that Jonathan Saunders is a big deal. But if I bought this outfit at a store, it would be tossed in a dirty cart with my Velveeta and toilet paper. WTF, Lucky? You feature luxury items in your magazine and get your readers drooling, but then when it's time for Lucky Breaks, you go all Marie Antoinette* on everyone by offering a chance at a Target outfit? WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? You are SO asking for the guillotine. Or at the very least, a paper shredder.

In other news, I am emotionally devastated over my loss of The Most Perfect Mirror Ever on ebay. Like, seriously, I can't even write about it because my heart will fall out of my chest and onto the floor. WHY, God? Why does the sneaky and mysterious h**w now own my mirror?!

I'm going to eat some Halloween candy right now and try to make some sense of my life. Have a lovely night. Or day. Whatever. I love you.

*By the way, I did read her biography and I know that her reputation for excess might not be deserved and that she never said "let them eat cake." But this is her legacy, and please just let me have my reference to French culture here.

Oh no . . .

*UPDATED*

Lucky's Cute Outfit of the Day for May 22

This is Julie, the ACCESSORIES DIRECTOR at Lucky.

[this is where I close my eyes, pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh heavily]

Someone shut this place down already. Jesus!

*Head on over to Mamacita's to see some serious magical genius concerning Lucky's Cute Outfit of the Day. You will not be disappointed. *

Did you honestly think I would let this slide, Lucky?

Lucky's Cute Outfit of the Day, April 23, 2008

Please.

This could be the cute outfit of the day at a progressive mid-western convent in the 1970s, but not at the office of a major fashion magazine.

Conde Nast, I urge you to look into mandatory drug testing for the staff at Lucky.

Inside the mind of a Lucky staffer

"Okay, WHY did they pick me today?! Is this some sort of joke? Isn't it obvious that I woke up late and still drunk? HELLO, I put a belt around my neck. Thank God my little sister left her jean skirt at my apartment or else I'd be wearing the jeans I wore last night, and that has Jaeger all over it. Fuck! Last night my hair looked like Whitney Port's but now it just looks flat and reeks of smoke. I feel like I'm going to throw up . . . oh, God, maybe if I put my arm in front of my stomach I won't barf in front of my boss. No! I will not smile. The only thing you're getting is my bitchface because I am NOT amused. Are you finished yet? Good. I'll be in the bathroom."

Lucky's Cute Outfit of the Day