What's up, hookers?

I'm so happy to see you!  I've gone through many personal changes since I last posted, and one of them is that I now watch Jerseylicious, High Society and reruns of Ghost Whisperer.  All are unspeakably dreadful, and I am simultaneously pleased and deeply ashamed to add them to my tv-watching repertoire.  Another big change: I called to reduce my cable service and was invited to sign up for the Premiere Package.  !!!!!  For those of you who don't know, it's a very exclusive upgrade which includes getting every channel on the planet for an ass-raping amount of money.  How could I turn it down?  I couldn't.  I don't mean to brag, but I now have 5 channels of Filipino gameshows--the very definition of luxury.

I have missed you all like LuAnn misses the Count's offshore bank account, which is to say desperately.  I read all of your comments during my break and was very touched by all of the kind words and expressions of mild suffering.  To thank you for sticking with me, I give you a new photo of Jeff Lewis:

My favorite part is the bubble exclamation point.  

Let's get to work!

1.  Who's watching 9 by Design?   STRESSFUL.  I couldn't take it.  When the 9 months pregnant Cortney was standing on the countertop in order to pack and move her 6 children to another, yet-to-be-determined apartment in a matter of days, my husband begged "Turn it!  TURN IT!"  

I did.  Switched over to Parenthood and that was that. 

I'll give the Novogratz fam another shot. 

2. On tonight's Real Housewives of NYC, new Housewife Sonja Morgan makes her first appearance.
(click through if you can't see the video)

I'm taking bets on how soon she will describe herself as "the real Carrie Bradshaw."  It's inevitable.

3.  The lovely yet dirty-mouthed Mason of Movin 92.5 and I break down Bethenny's recent cry-a-thon below (warning:  I act somewhat autistic on the phone and I pronounce Lanvin wrong).

the worst crap on tv!!!!

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[The Lil Bee]

PS: Filipino game shows SLAYED me!! SGM is BACK, kiddos!