I hope he doesn't get a restraining order against me

QUIET DESPAIR

By SGM

Lonely
In a crowd
Arms hanging
Restless
Lost
Longing
for someone
a blogger, maybe
to rescue him from this boring wedding
and fill the emptiness
with heterosexual love

Flower Petals

By SGM

Flower petals
Goddamn flower petals
Annoying
Unnecessary
Not funny
Someone will pay

This is why celebs should be wary of friends posting (precious and vulnerable) pictures of them on facebook.  Sometimes, thank God, they end up in my inbox.

Thanks, LH.

Speaking of The Lewis,

You're going to need at least one of these:

Can't you just hear his voice? What a little bitch. God, I just want to squeeze him to death. In a very tender and affectionate way, of course.

Designed by the uber-talented Richie, buy it HERE.

UPDATED: There's also a travel mug HERE.

(If you aren't in on the "Is this 140?" joke, please read this recap and fall in love with Jeff all over again.)

I feel dizzy just thinking about it

"Sign here if you think I am ridiculously hot and sexy."

The third season of Flipping Out premieres on August 17.

(YES, I do plan to post a Real Housewives of NJ recap. Stay tuned.)

Jeff Lewis is being naughty again!

UPDATE: Restraining order granted. Oooooh!

From the LA Times (the bold and brackets are mine):

Los Angeles real estate reality television star Jeff Lewis, who is known for his cocksure, confrontational style, has made the neighbors of one of his projects very afraid, they said, and they want a restraining order to keep him at bay. Lewis is the star of "Flipping Out," a Bravo channel show that follows him as he buys, renovates and resells homes.

Terence Beesley and Ashley Jensen, who live next door to a house Lewis is improving on Valley Oak Drive in Los Feliz, said in a lawsuit filed Wednesday that the developer constructed a deck at the house that encroached on their property. When they became aware of the encroachment earlier this year, Lewis offered them $10,000 to buy an easement, but their real estate experts concluded the easement was worth $100,000, they said.

Lewis countered during an unexpected nighttime visit to their house with an offer of $30,000 and threatened to make their lives miserable by casting them in a negative light in front of 3 million television viewers, they said in their complaint. Named in the suit is Lewis' partner, Ryan Brown, who the neighbors described as Lewis' "supposedly relatively even-keeled" foil, and Lewis' company, Vicious Investments [!!!]. It accuses the pair of trespassing, property damage and assault, and demands that the encroaching deck be removed. No financial damages were specified.

According to Beesley and Jensen, Lewis' actions at their home are in keeping with his TV persona. Their suit says the show "involves documenting the rude, outrageous, boorish, offensive, mean-spirited bullying by Jeff Lewis of anyone or anything in his way."

Ryan, how on EARTH did Jeff talk you into participating in this? You are not a shit-starter; I know you did not do this voluntarily. Did he blackmail you? Drug you? Threaten to have Ann Sacks blackball you? Talk to me, darling.

Jeff, I will agree to testify on your behalf in exchange for one of those "unexpected nighttime visits." Let me know. Also--if I may offer a little legal advice--I think your attorney should respond with this photo:

And write something like "HELP, HELP!!! It's the cute gay cuddling the widdle kittycat! He's so dangerous! Save us!" Trust me, the case will be dismissed before you can say "I'd like a grande, non-fat, no foam latte at 140 degrees for Jeff."

Thoughts?

Champagne for everyone!

Look who's coming back for another season.

Take the rest of the day off to celebrate.