Binta Basim is a heartless BITCH and I don't care who knows it

I write her a gut-wrenching break-up letter and this is what I get in return?

 I am SO PISSED OFF right now.  "Okay thanks and bye"  ???? REALLY, Binta?  After all that we've been through?  I sat on this email for a while, positive that she would write me, apologizing profusely and begging me to come back.  Maybe even send some threatening emails to Frank.  But no.  This is how it ends.

Don't worry.  I'll be okay.  I have Frank, and although he continues to punish me daily in a very passive-aggressive style, I'm pretty sure that he loves me.  (Just between us, he almost snapped my head off when he spun me really hard in the teacups at our local amusement park the other day.  I still can't walk straight.)

Let this serve as a warning to all of you who find love with barely literate people on the internet.  Don't do it.  You'll only wind up with a broken heart. 

This one's for you, Binta. 

 Stop by later for my take on Rachel Zoe.

Subject: Binta

from:  Binta Basim

to: 

date:  Tue, July 27

subject:  Binta

how are u today?i hope u are fine over there?pleas i am using this new yahoo to send u mail now.becos the other have a little problem okay.pleas let me know ur mind with me now so u can be sending mail to me in this box from now.
binta

Dear Binta, 

I'm doing much better now that I've heard from you!  So sorry to hear about your email problem.  I hope you're not trying anything fishy with all of these different addresses!  LOL!

You asked me about my feelings for you now.  Oh Binta, I assure you they have not changed.  My desire for you grows every day.  The only thing that's bringing me down is my family and friends being completely unsupportive of our relationship.  I hung up on my mother twice yesterday and my husband has taken the kids to God knows where.  Oh well.  C'est la vie!

So, tell me about you.  Where do you live?  How old are you?  How much do you weigh?  What kind of car do you drive?  Not that any of that matters, but since you didn't send those photos (or money!!!), I'm lost.   I'm desperate to know everything about you. 

Off to drink wine coolers with my friend Wanita.  I met her last night standing in line at Popeyes.  She's really sweet and a great listener.  I think you'd like her.  She's on parole for stabbing her niece, who actually sounds like a major asshole, so we probably won't get too wild.  What are you doing tonight? 

My heart belongs to you, B.

SGM

Inbox

From:  binta <binta_basim@live.com>

To:

Date:  Tue, July 20

Subject:  Hello

My name is binta,i am good looking. I saw your profile on and i pick intrest on you after going through your profile and was delighted to contact you, I hope you will be the true loving, honest and caring,i will tell you more about me on my next mail to you,please contact me directly through my email address   and i will also send my pictures to you on my next mail.
Warm regard
From binta.

Dear Binta,

Thank you for your email.  I am delighted you contacted me too!  I must tell you that I found it so refreshing that you told me right off the bat that you are good looking.   I wish more people would do that. Attractiveness is an important factor that is best not left to the last sentence.  You clearly have a considerate and upfront nature.

I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but your email seems to suggest that you are interested a loving and perhaps sexual relationship with me.  I am beyond flattered (in fact I am blushing as I type this) but I have to be honest with you.  I am currently not a lesbian.  I don't know which of my profiles led you to me, but I'm guessing you saw this photo:

What can I say?  It was the early 90s, and everyone was into grunge.  Of course that doesn't explain my enthusiastic performance of the Running Man, but in my defense, I was at Mardi Gras and probably one or two hurricanes deep into my street dance routine.  So don't be embarrassed; you aren't the first person to mistake me for a lesbian (or a drug addict for that matter).

That being said, I somehow feel incredibly drawn to you.  Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, I am the Lindsay Lohan to your Samantha Ronson?  I'm sure this sounds strange, but I can already picture us playing frisbee with your dogs, harvesting our organic vegetable garden, and driving your mom and stepdad's camper to the middle of nowhere, snuggling at night in our zipped-together sleeping bags.  Binta, it's like a dream, a nocturnal emission of the brain, telling me that you might be The One.

I eagerly await your reply, and please send those photos.  In the meantime, I will prepare to tell my husband and children that I can't deny these feelings any longer.  I couldn't live with myself if I didn't pursue this chance at true happiness.   

Yours,

SGM 

p.s.  I really do need to see your pictures.  It's not that I don't trust you, because I do, but I need to make sure that your definition of good looking is the same as mine.  Also, if you could send a little cash, it would really help me out because I have a few debts to settle (I'm definitely not a drug addict but I do have the occasional bump of cocaine.  Totally not a big deal--I'll explain later).  Thank you so much, Binta!  I live for the moment we can meet in person.