For those of you who can't read...

The beautiful Mason of Movin 92.5 in Seattle recently had me on her radio show to talk about the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I was thrilled because Lord knows I could talk for HOURS about that shit.  I have posted the podcast here, but before you listen, be forewarned:

1. YES, the falsetto voice that keeps saying "I KNOW!" and "hee hee hee hee" and "like" every two seconds is me.  APPARENTLY, I take elocution lessons from Kelly Bensimon.

2. If any of you make fun of me, I will weep punch your gd lights out.

Enjoy.  (and thanks, Mason!)

photo of precious Dwight on a (filthy) tire swing at his 50th birthday courtesy of Essence.

RHOA Ep 1 Recap

Finally, an entertaining scene from NYC Prep

from my favity-fave KCS Cougar Productions. (NSFW)(duh)

Something to chew on

"I really appreciate all of your hard work, Anthony.  You are a true gentleman, and I shall sing your praises to the Altanta gentry."

"Why thank you, Ms. Whitfield.  You are simply delightful, and it was a pleasure working with you."

While I'm working on the recap for last night's magnificent Season 2 premiere of Real Housewives of Atlanta, let's discuss Sheree's guest appearance on Watch What Happens, as it will shed some light on her brawl with Anthony, a Top Level Executive (aka "Boo").

Sheree is in the Bravo clubhouse with Andy Cohen and Anthony is live on the phone to tell his side of the story.  Andy's first question (and maybe the only one?) is hands down, one of the best interview questions I have EVER heard, and it is said with all of the cross-eyed earnestness that Mr. Cohen can muster:  "'I eat bitches like you every day.'  What did you mean by that?"

WELL.  I would either burst into laughter or tears if that question was asked of me, but not Anthony.  He matches Andy's serious tone and says that as someone who has been in the entertainment industry for 22 years, he has worked with many personalities, but none as dominating and thankless as Sheree.  He reveals that his company was sponsoring the party for her--meaning Sheree was getting a $60,000 roses-thrown-at-your-feet and other narcissistic bullshit party FOR FREE. 

QUESTIONS:

1.  If you are getting a $60k party for free, do you have the right to bitch about not getting a helicopter?

2. If you are getting a $60k party for free, do you have the right to bitch about ANYTHING?

3.  Is is ever appropriate to shout "EAT ME, DARLIN'!" during a planning meeting that does not involve food?

Think about that, will you?  While you're thinking, I will treat you to a screen shot of Dwight getting ready to work out at the gym.  In a magenta fedora. 

Such a colorful fellow, that Dwight. 

To watch Sheree and Anthony's fight in its entirety, go HERE.

Sweet Jesus, why hasn't anyone told me

about James Franco?*

I watched part of Pineapple Express tonight (I'm trying to watch more Starz to justify my enormous cable bill), and he's a younger, funnier, more-hygenic Johnny Depp.  Someone**   is getting kicked off my Free Pass Five so that I may roll out the red carpet (so to speak) for this man.

By the way, until tonight, I thought that Pineapple Express was Darjeeling Limited.  Actually, I thought it was Darjeeling Express, starring Owen Wilson.  God, I am so glad I have Starz!  It's teaching me so much.  Speaking of extortive premium cable, if you have HBO On Demand, you should check out the Making of Funny People.  It's LOL, and it's hard to find LOL on HBO these days.

* I realize that some of you did try to tell me about James Franco but I didn't listen.  (Can you blame me?  According to IMDB, he was in Nights in Rodanthe, for God's sake!).  Now he is our little secret.  Shhhhh!

**Move along, John Mayer.  Asshole.

***Are you tired of hearing about my technical blogging issues?  TOO BAD.  I keep publishing posts before they're finished.  Please just ignore it while I try get my shit together.

Now we know why her hair fell out.

It was committing suicide. 

All I could think of was the RHOA reunion when Kim tearfully said, "my hair was beautiful when I was a teenager....it's what I was known for."  NO DOUBT.

Photo from dlisted, of course.