Dirty Little Secret

Advice via twitter:

"Jersey Shore is like a pill problem.  If you're into it, fine.  But don't demean yourself by talking about it at work."

I can't stop giggling about this because it's true.  Jersey Shore has become a monster who feeds off of our helpless and compulsive desire to watch people take pride in their artificial skin tones and ability to take a punch.  And that's just the women.  Jersey Shore is a shameful addiction that should only be discussed behind closed doors, and even then, in a whisper.

Do you watch?  Come sit by me.  I won't tell. 

Side note:  If Jersey Shore was a pill, I have a feeling it would look like this. 

 Yes.

More elegant and cheek

Want to know how to change your space when it gets rully rully boring?  You're in luck; here is Kelly Bensimon's "apartment makeover":

click through if you can't see the video

Go here for the equally drastic bathroom makeover.  Par for the course, people.

Real Housewives of New York City begins March 4.  In other words, NOT SOON ENOUGH.

Guess who's going to be on Watch What Happen Live this Thursday?  Tamra Barney and JLew (!!!!!!!!!).  If I can get my act together, I'm going to post something really creepy in his honor. 

Happy Monday, babies!

(thanks to Michelle)

Party at Ryan's!

Is he still living with his grandma?  Anyhow, check it out:

And here I thought it was all a ruse. 

No more jokes from me (for now at least).  Divorce is just sad, even when it comes to Tamra Sue. 

Thoughts?

(thanks to the anon who tipped me in the comments of the last post.  Read more here.)

Update on Friday, January 8, 2010 by SGM

A excerpt from Simon's blog (thanks, Mary):

The dinner with Tamra's mom ... HOW UGLY! Can I ever get a break this season considering I didn't want to be on it this year? I really never knew my wife felt this way about me until I watched this episode. I guess I'm not the right man for her. This did remind me of a conversation on the first day of 2009 (January 1, 2009). Tamra and I were in Las Vegas the day after New Year’s Eve. She told me she knew she could get someone better looking, with more money, and who would let her do whatever she wants, regardless. But she was going to stay together for the kids. I was shocked, and I'm shocked now watching her at dinner with her mother, when she says, "If it wasn't for the kids, I would leave him."

Ouch! That really hurt! If this is true, she should have this conversation with me in private. I'm not sure any couple should stay together because of kids. It only does more damage to them. I guess I was under the impression that she was still in love with me as I am was with her. And sadly I had to find this out is no longer true on national TV. I guess she wanted to have the drama spotlight, rather than what's best for our family and me. Have we really drifted that far apart in just a few years?

You don't need to run me over with a truck to get your message across, honey! Of course it feels like a truck just ran over my heart and soul. Wow! What a fool I've been. Never thought to watch out within my own camp. "Et tu, Brute?"

Like I always say, "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger." But I think this one is going to hurt like I was being killed.

Sorry kids, I would give up my life and conquer the world for you. Just couldn't triumph over celebrity and fame. Daddy loves you very much...

WOW. These two are going to make some divorce attorneys verrrrrrrrry happy.

Be honest

Watch this:

Did you just get teary-eyed?  DID YOU?  Don't lie, because I can see you through the computer.

Just like that, Bravo pulls me back in.  Dammit!

Discomfort

 Sacha Baron Cohen's comedy makes me nervous to the point of sweating.  As most of you are aware, I'm not an uptight a-hole, but I had to turn off Borat after the turd in a baggie scene and I couldn't even entertain the notion of watching Bruno.  Seeing regular people squirm and/or inadvertently expose themselves as morons is my worst nightmare, equal to being eaten alive by tarantulas or attending a Nickelback concert.

But before Bruno and Borat hit the big screen, Ali G was on on HBO chatting up politicians and asking them delightfully retarded questions.  Now that I can watch.

I was going to recommend NPR's Terry Gross interview with Cohen, which was straight-up LOL (and Terry "loved" Bruno!)(wtf!), but the podcast has already disappeared into the internet ether.  So unfair.  Why did I even mention it?

Incidentally, Isla Fisher is married to Sacha Baron Cohen, and I want to be her BFF.  I already have a BFF, so she couldn't be mine, but I would be hers.  No problem.

She has the prettiest hair, doesn't she?

Oh!  One last thing.  For Frank, and the world:

 BAM!