I can't get it up
Wednesday, June 9, 2010 and I need your help. I hate everyone on Real Housewives. Everyone. Well, except Albie and Jacqueline's baby. I think it's the Teresa thing that threw me over the edge. "A huge THANK YOU to all my fans for all your love and support. Joe & I are just fine and will continue to be. ♥♥♥from our house to yours! xx" she tweets.
Of course she's fine! She just unloaded all of her debt onto us! We are paying for her purple sleeveless fur coat and Gia's atv and Melania's ADHD meds (just a guess) and the eight month old baby's high heels!
We're paying for those fake flowers too. ELEVEN MILLION DOLLARS worth of debt, you guys! And most of it's going to be completely wiped out. I would feel fucking ecstatic if I were her.
Furthermore, I cannot get the image of Jason waxing Bethenny's belly out of my brain. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and it was on repeat in my head. BARF. I do not want to see Jill's crocodile tears on the reunion, nor do I want to see Kelly blame her congenital stupidness on "systematic bullying." How much do you want to bet that Andy Cohen will ask about satchels of gold and she will give a completely irrelevant or otherwise unintelligible answer?
And now Danielle has apparently leaked her own sex tape. Not even gonna link to it. It's just sad. Watching her on RHONJ is like watching Intervention, without the intervention. She's destroying her life, and those of her children, right in front of us.
Are you over it as much as I am? Am I overreacting because my period is due today? Please discuss while I go make sweet, sweet love to a donut and try to give a crap about the reunion tonight.
photo from here, via chateau de lu.
Reader Comments (44)
I wholeheartedly agree with your observations. I am so tired of the negativity and bad energy on these shows. There are no redeeming personalities on the New York cast, and the fact that they gave Ramona a 'renewal' ceremony this season is a joke. She and her husband were not even the least bit likable last season, but yet they devoted a lot of air time this season to her. As for New Jersey, I loved the family themed inclusiveness that was the mainstay last season, and that has really be hijacked this season by the Danielle drama. I flip through channels throughout most of the shows. I like watching the Manzos... Perhaps they should just do a Manzo show?
$11 million... makes my neck itch and my skin crawl! I think I'll start a Facebook Page called: Payup Bitch!
Don't like anyone anywhere on either show. This is why foreigners hate us...
ps- I'm PMSing too...
OMG! I AM PMSING ALSO!! I HATE EVERYONE, ON THE SHOWS AND IN REAL LIFE! I AM NOT KIDDING! ASK MY POOR BF! I KEEP TELLING HIM DARK CHOCOLATE AND HE BRINGS ME THE HERSHEY SHIT! UGH!!
Anyways. . . I can't even watch these shows anymore! I will DVR them, fast forward most of it and I whittle it down to 15 - 20 minutes tops! Way too much drama, period! Dina is the ONLY sane one of the bunch! I can't take them anymore! Dirty Danielle needs help! Her poor kids! I hope to God the ex-husband sues for full custody cause no one in their right mind would think she's a stable Grinch. http://prettyontheoutside.typepad.com/gilmore/ How great is this pic?!
I can't wait till life goes back to normal and we get Jeff, Jenni and Ms. Z back!
Try and have a great day ladies! I am going to hunt down some dark chocolate!
How am I missing the PMS boat? Aren't we all supposed to be in sync?
I, for one, am way excited for the reunion tonight. I'm hoping that we can increase our vocab with more jewels along the lines of kudooz and satchels of gold. Also, I read somewhere that Jill had 4 PR people consult with her the night before and I'm dying to see if she wasted her money. I would guess yes.
NJ is trash. I can't watch the Danielle crap anymore and if Dina leaves, I'm done.
As usual, you are totally spot-on. Belly waxing aside, If the most amusing thing they have to put on the advert for Bethenny's show is her squawking the completely over-used tired catch-phrase, "He liked it so much he put a ring on it", well then we know how bad it's going to be. And am I the only one who gets a totally gay vibe from Bethenny's husband? He's so weak and passive. And she's like a giant-jawed insect who will soon devour him completely.
I'm with you. I stopped watching the New York Housewives after Kelly told a whole different version of what happened on the trip and my stomach was turning as Jill, Luanne and that other woman were nodding their heads in sympathy. What trip was Kelly on? No pun intended! And I stopped watching the Jersey wives after the Danielle thing at the Brownstone. I'm not watching the reunion either. It just makes me sick that we see this on tv and then they go on their blogs to garner sympathy by telling a whole different version of what we see. Then to top it off they're rewarded for their bad behavior by being asked to go on the Today show , write books, sell jewelry etc. It was nice to talk to my kids last week about Detroit pitcher Armando Galarraga and what class and good sportsmanship really looks like. It's nice to know that although we're bombarded with shows such as these we can also get a little glimmer of hope.
I also think that the Manzo's should get their own show. Albie and Chris are funny and Lauren is so cute but that's it, Theresa's kids can't come on and Danielle's especially can't be on it, because as we all heard her say, she WILL be everywhere that Christine goes.
I'll still check in though cause you crack me up with your posts!!!
I am not over it. I love a good train wreck. (maybe I have a problem...)
I am counting down the hours to the reunion tonight.
Theresa is just dumbdumbdumb and so is the financial institution(s) that gave her all those loans.
Like watching Intervention without the intervention.
Couldn't have said it better. These people are all a mess, and Bravo seems to think the lower they go the more money they'll make on these shows. They shouldn't have had a 2nd season of NJ, it's just a mess. The only drama there ever is always revolves around Danielle. When she isn't creating drama the others are talking about how she creates drama, and how they don't want to talk about her anymore but have nothing else to talk about.
NY was always my favorite, but this season was so much bickering and bitching. The whole thing with Kelly shows how Bravo should step up their screening process before allowing these people to commit to having their lives on camera.
Agreed. I cannot stand these shows any longer and I have no desire to watch the NY reunion. Those women irk me to no end --not all of them, but the irksome ones far outweigh the tolerable ones. Thus, I'm done. As for Jersey, I really enjoyed the Manzo/Laurita family last year --especially the quirky and endearing relationship between Dina and her daughter Alexis, the shoe and candy hoarder. So you can imagine my disappointment when this season turned into the Danielle Horror Show and to add insult to injury, Alexis is MIA plus Dina is rumored to be exiting next week.
I have never been an A. Cohen fan, he has this really slimy vibe, so I am not surprised by his inability to see these shows for the disasters they are. HOWEVER, I do love my Jeff Lewis & Co. and CANNOT wait for his sorely needed return. If the not so crafty producers of Bravo have tarnished this show's brilliance in any way, YOU WILL SEE MY REACTION ON CNN...
Peace out.
love you SGM! I, too, am gagging this season. Danielle is trashy trash and, while Bravo is not exactly PBS, they should have ~some~ standards and not promote actual whores. All that said, I guess it's all about ratings. I won't watch Bethenny's show - I mean there is a ? at the end of the title and I am WTF, we all know she is married and had the kid. And did you note that she said in a recent interview that her life was great because she got married, and as an afterthought, that she fell in love. What I have still not recovered from is the Countess doing her lip-synching disco show like she is 23. Seriously, I am of her generation and she is just ludicrous buying into her own crap. Kelly is a meth-head and ADHD/Bi-Polar IMO. I just have a lot of complaints this year. But mostly, to your point, I am SO PISSED that we are bailing out Teresa, who doles out $100 bills to buy her tacky furniture...this just gets under my skin like nothing else. I used to like her, now I think she is both stupid and a freeloader. I cut coupons and shop Family Dollar so that I can pay for her bankruptcy. Unreal.
I can't wait for the reunion of RHONY. I hope it's a bloodbath!
How many subprimers are we up to in the real housewives club: Lynne, Tamera, NeNe, Lisa and now Teresa. Maybe I'm missing someone? Quite the commentary on society. Be a conspicuous consumptor even when you can't afford it! Like her house, I think Teresa's head is filled with onyx, grantie and marble! Do you think we'll see Teresa shopping at Good Will with the kids next season?? All you pmsssing women-I hope you're not even thinking of making up some red sauce!
I am PMSing too (I broke a bra with my tits yesterday. Hooly shit.) I am excited for the NYC reunion only becuase I need someone to unleash this RED HOT WAVE OF BURNING FURY, and Kelly seems like a good outlet. The NJ season is boring and infuriating. Except for that damn ham game, which for some reason has me hooked. I think it's Caroline's superserious reaction to it. I am waiting for Chris to sneak attack her while she's yelling at them. Just a close up of her game face yelling, "No. NO." And SCHLAP!! hit in the face with a piece of ham she didn't even see coming.
I'm over it, too. I don't mind functional crazy. LIke the 9 By Design parents who named a kid Five. Or Jeff Lewis, doing pretty much anything. But both NYC and NJ feel exploitive. Kelly is totally cracked. And Danielle's use of thugs is making me really uncomfortable.
That said, I'd totally watch a show about Chris Manzo's stripper car wash because I love strippers and I still love the Manzos.
Bethenny is calling this a "rave review". I call it a non-review. http://nyti.ms/azoezp
Theresa and Stumpy just put the Onyx Palace on the market.
As I said in a previous post I think Bravo needs to get this shit off the air. This is not what I signed up for. The way the NJ women are, and really have been from the start, has had me shacking my head. Many a comment has been left saying how much people love these women. I for one, just don't get it. I mean........who flips tables, uses terms like thick as theives and prostitutes their kids so they can have the glory of seeing their scrunched up munchkin faces all over the screen? Does Teresa think that the kids are her meal ticket? The other women all think Teresa it is so cute and such a good mother? Really?? Who would think that prostituting your kids to the media, spending thousands of dollars on shopping sprees while you have nothing remotely close in the way of money to back it up, and talking like you have the education of a 6th grader resembles cute? This woman is single handedly raising the next douche bags of society who will consider themselves entitled to everything.......a Bentley? Hardly.
And Danielle? Really?? Does Bravo think all the gin and tonics I have consumed are going to lull me into a place of acceptance? Is this what the wealthy housewives in NJ are really like? Porn stars who want their children to make it big so they can sponge off of them? What a good example of the people of NJ.
I am feeling pretty dirty here (Bravo, you should too.....oh wait. This is making them millions. Right, so never mind Bravo. You are excused.) I for one am boycotting this crap. Bravo....you guys suck. Like I said, I didn't sign up for this crap when I started watching and I am now looking for my contract because I am sure it states that being subjected to images of human trafficking is grounds for termination of said contract. Must. Find. Contract.
Now, back to my Bombay Sapphire and Schwepps.
Yup-- The Teresa deal makes me as crazy as the woman, in line, in front of me, that bought doughnuts an soda with her WIC card, while I scrounged change for gas.
I watched a repeat of RHOC, and they seemed rather tame after seeing the east coast houswives. Will probably skip the shows and just wait on your MUCH better-than-the-shows-recap!
A NJ housewive is leaving the show Monday? Who? Why haven't they introduced the replacement yet? Or is it Kim G? Or that other Kim? The drunk one? Why didn't they let us know? I may have been more interested.
I'm bored.
Ohhhhh you guyz. I thought Dina too. And now you do too. Then I am really done watching NJ. Although she was infuriating insisting on meeting Danielle.
I am so with you on NJ. I hate them all. Especially Ashley. She is a cuntified cunt.
HOWEVER. WE MUST STAND BY NYC. THIS IS THE BEST SHIT ON TV. Where would we be without it? I think you disdain for NJ has dampened your love for NY and that makes me mad sad. I want to burn NJ down for that.
im with MODG- SGM you need to shove a tampon in the twat and get on the reunion train. im not saying it won't be predictable but it will be worth its weight in (satchels of) gold.
seriously load up with advil and wine...watch and come back with your recap please. you promised.
fuck new jersey, that shit is boring. the manzos are boring.
Oh my goodness, thank you for the many laughs, mah friends. Particularly "I need someone to unleash this RED HOT WAVE OF BURNING FURY" and "I KEEP TELLING HIM DARK CHOCOLATE AND HE BRINGS ME THE HERSHEY SHIT!" I can so relate, my ALL CAPS SISTERS!
Here is the deal--I think MODG has it right. The RHNYC finale sucked bee balls and then with all of these NJ antics, I got off track. I will watch the reunion tonight. Not making any promises about Bethenny, Getting Married? (married?), though. Anon was right on point with, "If the most amusing thing they have to put on the advert for Bethenny's show is her squawking the completely over-used tired catch-phrase, 'He liked it so much he put a ring on it', well then we know how bad it's going to be." YEP.
I'm back on board with NYC, ladies. For now. NJ needs to be taken off the air.
All of the shows don't seem authentic as they did during the very first season. It seems as though bravo is telling women like Danielle that they have to really play their parts so that they can get more money....or maybe people like Danielle are just selling their souls so they can get their own t.v. show. I dunno, but Bethanny earned her t.v. show and she didn't have crazy drama to do it. I will continue to watch and continue to gossip. I hope some new franchises establish soon with other ethnic groups...now that would be interesting...bravo liven RH's up please.
There's been rumors for weeks that jacqueline is the one leaving. Her husband doesnt want her on the show with Dirty D. She even hinted about it in one of her blogs. I could see them kicking Dina off the show though. Without her daughter she doesnt bring much to the table, shes not a drama llama and shes SANE!
Bravo seems to be all about the train wrecks. I love watching a good train wreck but some of these bitches are BEYOND train wrecks. Its no longer funny, but scary and reflecting bad on BRAVO. They better get their shit together quick.
Now.. how come none of you bitches brought up the fact that baby Teresa has HIGH HEELS ON!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THAT SHIT!?