The Results are In!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009 
The results to the extremely complicated Flipping Out Charity Fundraiser and/or Drinking Game have been calculated.
After the following people pay their $10 to charity, they will magically and instantaneously become charter members of Jeff Lewis' Karmic Angels:
LLM
Jenn
Gayhooker (he didn't officially commit but I'm hoping that this will pressure him into it)
Minus 75
Style & Grace (pressure!)
SGM
Kathryn
(if you don't already have a pet charity, get on that shit! Here are a few national ones with high ratings: Susan G Komen for the Cure, The Humane Society, Big Brothers Big Sisters. For more, see charitynavigator.com.)
Congratulations! Thank you all so much for playing. For those of you who didn't play, it's not too late. Leave me a comment if you'd like to donate $10 and belong to the club too. Here is the breakdown:
EVENTS
1. Jeff pops a breath mint or uses binaca/breath spray. No, but SO CLOSE. Sarah squirts some binaca in her mouth, offers some to Jeff who accepts the offer but the scene ends before he actually squirts.
2. Jeff says the word "feelings." No. He's finished with feelings.
3. Jett wears his hair in a bun or topknot. No, just the standard pony.
4. Sarah chews gum. DUH. Easy money. $1
5. Jenni wears her glasses. Yes. $1
6. Jeff says the words "Vlad" and the word "liar" or any derivative thereof in the same scene. No. No Vlad (in person, at least) at all in this episode (thank you Bravo editors).
7. Zoila says "Jeffrey." No. But I did love it when she mutters "what a bad boy!" about him.
8. Tears from anyone. No. Almost tears from JLew himself, which was VERY unexpected, not to mention upsetting. He was talking about not knowing if he'd be at another party of Chloe's again. He had to look away from the camera to compose himself.
I just ate a Kit-Kat (fun size) and some Smarties to help myself deal with this.
9. Trace makes an appearance. Yes, mysterious as ever. $1
10. Dale is silent for the entire episode. Dale speaks! Jeff asked Ryan (jokingly)(I think) if Dale was bipolar, but I would actually diagnose Dale as being clinically depressed. Or he's just nervous/pissed that his life is a spectacle thanks to Ryan and Jeff. $1
11. Jenni or Jeff says the word "date." No.
12. Chaz makes an appearance. Yes. His segment (as well as Buena Park) was one big commercial for Jeff Lewis Design. $1
13. Jeff takes a sip of a drink. YES. Of course, yes. $1
Look at all of those straws!
14. Anyone wears a hat. Yes, Jenni. Ballcap when she was practicing for her lizard act. Did you all love that as much as I did? Jenni is a Good Person. $1
15. Jeff curses (evidenced by the bleep). Many times. My favorite was when he discovered that 3 year old Chloe's party didn't have valet and said "what a shit party this is," to Zoila. $1
16. Jeff fires someone, anyone. No, although I thought he was going to murder the workers who were napping in the front yard of his new client.
17. Jeff talks to any of his realtors, on the phone or in person. Yes. $1
18. Jeff drops the price of Valley Oak. YES. Then someone puts in a pretty decent offer. Then he decides he doesn't want to sell it. Then he asks his realtor/sister-in-law (who apparently busted her ass on this listing) to stay for drinks to celebrate. I'm pretty sure that off-camera, she kicked him in the balls. $1
19. Ryan rolls his eyes. Technically, no. But I am SURE he did off-camera, when Jeff called him to see if he would sell Jeff his "embryos on ice."
20. Jeff wears the green Lacoste shirt (SO SEXY). NO. But did you see the white shirt with the white alligator? Very nice.
Love and spider bombs to you all!
Reader Comments (27)
Do we get t-shirts?
"Jeff asked Ryan (jokingly)(I think) if Dale was bipolar, but I would actually diagnose Dale as being clinically depressed."
He has to be depressed; he's 40+ and enrolled in a vocational certificate program all while being kept by Mr. Brown.
Not that I'm one to judge...
Off subject but: I think Jeff kind of admitted to the wig! Remember when he and Jenni were joking around about having a baby together? I thought he said, about the hypothetical baby: "He'd have a wig..."
I am not an accontant but isn't the official tally $9? SGM, Dale spoke so you do not add a dollar. We always hear about these charities who actually use mere pennies of each dollar they recieve for the charitable work with the rest going to administration cost and I am starting to believe that SGM may be part of the "administrative costs" of the recommended charities.
I am so humiliated. You are 100% correct, CPA. It should be $9, but I am hoping that everyone will donate $10 just because it is a round number.
Are you sure he didn't mention Vlad this episode at all? I could have sworn he did when they were talking about the house wrapping everything up. Maybe it's when I see the house, Vlad just comes to mind. . . ICK!!
OK does anyone notice that Jeff's eyes highlight the color of his shirts? If he wears grey they are grey and when he wears blue they are deep blue. Is it me? AMAZING NEVERTHELESS! >SIGH<
How funny is Jenni? LOVE HER!!
God I am going to miss him!! I can't wait to see him on QVC! LOL
SGM - thank you so much for your updates! YOU ARE THE BEST!
I didn't see your original post until it was too late and missed out on the game, but I would still like to donate (and be part of the club)!
Thank you, Kathryn. YOU'RE IN.
Mary, he did mention Vlad, but didn't call him a liar. I can't wait to see Jeff on QVC too. I wonder if he will behave himself.
gayhooker, what do you think about Andy C pulling some strings to get him on Top Chef?
Anon, I know--but was he joking? He's so confusing!
LLM, sadly, no. After CPA audits me, there will be nothing left for tshirts.
Loved the white shirt with the white gator! This was a great episode. When he asked the lady at the party store if all their children's party performers are registered sex offenders, that was hilarious! He had a big smile! Did you notice during the credits that Jenni is named as some sort of producer on the show?
Ggmary - I did!! I saw that too! Good for her!
I am so proud and humbled to be a charter member of the Jeff Lewis' Karmic Angels.
My $10 is going to The Periwinkle Foundation a charity that helps CHILDREN WITH CANCER (shameless plug, couldn't help it).
I have a few concerns about the tallying though:
8. I think ALMOST tears from JLew should count as actual tears. $1
11. Jenni or Jeff says the word "date." Didn't he say the word "date" when Jenni was rolling down the hill or did he say "ask out"? Should an implied mention of date count? It's charity.
19. Ryan rolls his eyes. Technically, no. --> But in actuality, he did. Sighing = verbal eye rolling $1
Other sidenotes:
- Jett has a child? Why didn't I know this? I almost died when Jeff was asking if he could buy the next kid. And I do not blame Zoila one bit on her reaction...my poor, sweet Zoila would be forced to take care of it. OMG. Plus, I completely though of you, SGM, when he made a face and said "fat baby"...he and Bethenney should get together and produce the most neurotic offspring ever imagined.
- I had no idea Dale wanted to be a chef! However, isn't it a little low-rent to be sous-chef/make your other student chef friends be sous chefs at your daughter's birthday party?
- I have no respect for Chaz after the whole homeless debacle. I mean, really? It was weird. You have a "high end" salon and a homeless person camps out on your porch? Awkward. But (had I known) I might have tried to get an appointment just to see it all with my own eyes.
- Jennie's Lizard Act = AMAZING (shake the ants out your pants, do the Chloe dance)
- JLew discussing child predators in the form of clowns/balloon people? I almost died. Because I AGREE.
- Zoila saying she had to "put color on her mouth." I just want to hug her and make her my abuela.
I haven't had a chance to watch the episode because I have to work (gross), but it is on my DVR.
I trust your calculations, SGM.
My $10 will be going to Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, of course.
I love this idea, brillz.
I do not believe that Kathryn should be permitted to be a member or Jeff Lewis' Karmic Angels. What kind of karma does she bring to the Angels when she is tardy for the party?
Sarah and Z, i love that you are listing your charities. I donated mine to magicians4kidz.com Just kidding. I gave to womenforwomen.org
Sarah, you're right, I should have counted the tears, the rolled eyes and also the "Ryan looks stoned" one that someone suggested in the comments. It was for charity, and I was being all cheap! I did listen CLOSELY during the lizard scene and "date" was never mentioned. He did say "she'll never get a man."
Mary, I am SUCH a skimmer. I just now realized what I wrote about Vlad--that he wasn't mentioned at all. He was. I shall correct that (I run a tight ship around here, if you haven't noticed.)
Anon, shut yo' mouth! All angels are welcome, no matter how tardy.
"I have no respect for Chaz after the whole homeless debacle."
I agree, Sarah. Helping the poor--it doesn't get lower than that.
Anon, clearly ma wig was squeezing ma brain too tight. Heffah.
As a sidenote, I will be donating to makingpreciousstrides.org, an organization for Hunter Syndrome, started by the family of my goddaughter's best friend after their son, Zach, was diagnosed.
SG..have i ever told you that i think you are one funny mother fucker?
Does allowing a homeless person to shit in your yard count as charity these days?
Being kind to Spirit and allowing her to set up what she called a home on his property rather than running her off through the use of the police or some other method counts as charity these days. It may not be a great business practice but it should not make you lose respect for someone. I suspect that if Spirit were making a spectacle of her self or actually harming Chaz' business that he may have taken some action. However, the fact that Chaz had the money to hire JLew and was spending that kind of money remodeling tells me that Spirit was not chasing off clients.
Turning a blind eye isn't my definition of charity.
Sarah, what would you have had Chaz do? Call the police to have her forceably removed; put a Roomba in her space and have it keep things clean, introduce her to Vlad who would sweep her off her feet and make her a princess?
The reality is truly the only thing you could suggest Chaz do to be charitable to her is to try and get her to go to a shelter or to get some other help to get her back on her feet. But someone who does not want to do those things is not going to be forced into doing that. We don't know if Chaz tried to get her to go to a shelter. We do know that Spirit seemed to come and go as she pleased.
Chaz hardly turned a blind eye. One could say that throwing her out would have been turning a blind eye by saying she is not my problem let her go somewher else.
Sarah, I truly am not trying to be a bitch, I just am not sure I would have acted any differently than Chaz. Who am I kidding I would have dialed 911 the second I closed on the property, but I am interested in hearing what you think would have been a more charitable thing or proper way to address the situation.
Y'all are getting way too deep for this blog.
I agree with Sarah. Who knows the story with Spirit, but she had been living there since 1968 or something and died of dehydration, so I think it's likely she was mentally ill. Letting her live there in squalor was enabling in my opinion. By allowing her to remain at Cole he was allowing her to remain ill.
Another Anon, please explain how throwing her off the property would have resulted in her getting all the mental and physical help she needed? And funny how Sarah has gone silent.