My internet connection keeps crashing and I am all tight in the chest
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 so I'll keep this short.
I have about 5 million things to say about Kelly Bensimon's behavior on the most recent episode of Real Housewives of New York City, but I think they can all be summed up with this one thought: it's one thing to be a retard, but it's quite another to be a belligerent retard.
Kelly: I'm not like Bethenny, I'm not a hobag!
Bethenny: Why are you calling me a hobag when a self-proclaimed slut is sitting right here next to me?
Sonja: Yeah!
Kelly: But you're not even a chef! Or a cook!
Bethenny: Why are you saying that? I went to culinary school.
Kelly: Why are you telling me this? I don't care! I don't care! ETC.
Thanks to anon for posting Kelly's panicked twitter feed during the airing of the show. I picture Kelly's brain as a moth frantically fluttering its dusty wings against a window: what's going on? why can't I get out? why do I keep using the word banter when I clearly don't know what the fuck it means?
Aren't Coerte and LuAnn the love story of the year?
So romantic. I think the flaming bar was a metaphor for their passion. Or Coerte's obvious homosexuality.
Alex's geeky, asthmatic laugh and Ramoner's drunken shenanigans warmed my heart.
Everyone needs a friend like the 'Moner. I'd crash a Hooters yacht party with her any time.
I cannot wait for the next episode and Kelly's desperate call to Bitchface Inc. (Jill and Lu) onshore. That's what I'm talkin' about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In other completely unrelated news, did you see this monstrosity? Why, Nene? WHY?
Reader Comments (24)
Don't tell me I missed Sheree's ice dancing debut. What gives?
Kelly, I second SGM as I quote Robert Downey Jr. in the epic work of cinematography, Tropic Thunder: "Nobody goes full retard".
If ever a woman who looked like a tranny paid money to look even more like a tranny, it's Nene. How dreadful indeed!
I didn't think anything could distract me from last weeks NYC episode...turns out NeNe's new nose could! Holy shit gurl! What gives?! Yeah, her nose before was big but absolutely everything about her is big - her face, her body, her personality. Nine times out of ten the original parts are best. Remember that ladies: original parts are BEST. Not perfect, but best.
Now that is off my chest, lets refocus on Kelly. I have been quasi watching NJ out of the corner of my eye - and I am starting to get the same feelings for Kelly as I do for Danielle. Nervous, jittery embarrassment...and then when I am reminded that they both have two daughters each, I just get sad. I have a feeling that next week will push me over the edge and Kelly and Danielle will become one in the same for me. Pure discomfort - very little entertainment value. Andy Cohen, please take note. Pure crazy doesn't sell at my house.
I had to close my eyes when Coerte swooped in for the kiss with Luann UGH it was a little scary and uncomfortable, maybe a little weird?? Yeah no, he is creepy
I was glad to see the "real" Kelly finally show up, and so glad to see that others were there to witness her crazyness, can't wait for next week
OMG Marriedtoachimp you nailed it! Discomfort and twitchy IS the best way to describe watching Danielle and now Kelly. Kelly is back! I wondered who this person they replaced her with the first part of the season was. Crazy retarded bitch is back in the building! Worse than Coert's name is how he spells it! Homo much? That kiss made me hurl.
Did anyone see Look What Happen's next? Is Countess LuLu for real? That song is a joke
Um, yeah, Nene's nose is a shocking mess! So craptastic! WTF?
Kelly's stupidity is so unsatisfying because you know she can't even tell how much of a retard she looks like when she watches the episode play back. She's all "Wha? It IS like making Lemonade...HELLO"
I'd feel much better knowing she was utterly embarrassed and vowing to shut her trap after watching the play backs, but you know she thinks she's brilliant...I'm just going to stop now before I get all flustered because as she tweeted: challenging her is like challenging myself. Barf.
Thank goodness someone is talking about how cringeworthy Danielle and her relationship with her girls is. She asks THEM what she should do. The "drive by" of Caroline's during the party...that was so 7th grade. I just don't think I can watch a whole season of Daniele and her children. The modeling is also painful...
All I can say is...we should send those girls money for their lifetime of thearpy...
I watched the episode when it first aired, but had it on the again other day (don't ask me why)...Anyway, go back and watch the scene at the bar where the new housewife, Jennifer (?), is all drunk and exclaims "LuAnn's date has bad hair and is gay!"
Hilarious, mostly because it is subtle, but nonetheless so true. Is LuAnn that desperate...
Good GOD NeNe WTF?!?! It doesn't even look like her. Why? There was nothing wrong with her nose before.
Anyway I don't know what you all are talking about with Kelly, I learned some very valuable things through her wisdomosity. For example, I learned if you have feelings then you have been transported back in time to 1979. I learned that it's really hard to open doors (don't I know). And I learned that Bethanny tried to trick Kelly by saying she went to culinary school. Clearly you aren't a cook or a chef after attending culinary school, you are an animal doctor. Kelly totally knew that, she went to Columbia people...
Ramoner and Alex made me so happy this episode, but all I can think about is how awkward Coerte's tongue is...ughhhhh.
Let's just admit the fact the Countless Lulu and Creepy Coerte are soulmates. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm so going bar hopping with Ramona this weekend
Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City, Kelly Bensimon takes photographs of Alex McCord as a skeleton back from the dead. Seriously, maybe Kelly was mad that Alex was dancing like she was in a '70s disco. I think I saw the carlton once or twice and definitely a dosey do.
I'm betting my friend that LuMann drops Coerte pronto, due to the fact that everyone thinks he's creepy. She's all about what people think of her.
I am so excited for the epsiode tomorrow!
Is Kelly a coke addict? Thoughts?
I loved Bethenney, Alex, and Ramoa this episode. I have always liked Bethenney and she is slowly becoming my favorite housewife.
Did you all see Kelly's ex-hubby on NJ? He barely speaks English, and she barely speaks any normal language, so how did they communicate? Was it a business deal more than a marriage?
are you sure that photo of Nene isn't a drag queen looking like her? sad she was a cute girl before.
oh kelly...what do we even say anymore about this one. she kept the crazy locked down for almost the whole season too
Kelly is what we call "touched".
I agree Scarlett! As we say in Oklahoma, " Bless her heart"
sooo...does anyone else think nene looks like heidi montag with that new (atrocious looking) nose?
So I'm watching a rerun from last season, and what happened to Jill's gay hubby Brad? Curious we haven't seen him...
kelly may not be she brightest crayon in the box, but man, i love watching the nonsense spill out of her mouth, and then get all offended for no reason. keep it up, girl! you make me feel like a genious!
i am almost sure that louann's date is one of the tiger tamers from vegas that got chowed on by one of his trained tigers? he has re-emerged as her euro lover? this is so yummy and good, i cant wait for tonight!
as my mom would say about everyone, and now i say it about kelly, "she's on something"
What is UP with Nene's face? It looks like the eye on the right is upside down or something. WTF?
Kelly - I agree with Scarlett, "touched" is indeed the word.
Can anyone tell me where Bethanny got her White Maxi Dress?! I've been googling for days now with no trace :(
Kelly IS on crack. You can tell by her glittery, crazed eyes, sweaty face and twitchy hands pulling her hair out and twittering to beat the band. This is some mighty fine tv, for sure.