Move over, SJP. Andy Cohen's got a new girlfriend.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 Remember when we voted for our friend Boo to participate in the Bravo-sponsored Kentucky Oaks Survivor's Parade? She promised to report back and HERE IT IS--read on and prepare to fight the strong urge to sniff your computer monitor:
So, I wish I could say it has taken me two weeks to send a recap of the Kentucky Oaks and Survivor Parade because I've been too busy letting Jeff Lewis give me pedicures while Andy Cohen fed me peeled grapes and read me Lynn Curtain's Twitter feed, but I've actually just been busy. And also a little afraid I would disappoint all of SGM's readers with my experience. I'll go ahead and let you all down now - I did not meet Jeff Lewis. No hugging, no tush squeezes, no commiserating over what a bitch Ryan is. I actually now believe there was some sort of grand conspiracy to keep the cancer survivors as far as humanly possible away from the Bravolebrities. Granted, there were 116,000 people in attendance that day, but I've provided a visual to the seating arrangements to try and prove my suspicion. Here is a photo my friend took of us during the parade, and I've diagrammed where everyone was:
The NBC Sports cameras were focused on my husband & I for about 3/4 of the parade, and so we were sure that when we got home and had a chance to watch the tape that you'd see our goofy mugs all over Bravo. Um, not so much. I received about 3.7 seconds of airtime on our beloved channel, and you kinda' have to stand on your head and squint your eyes to really tell that its us.
All that said, the parade was an amazing experience. They played "I Will Survive" over the speakers as we walked the parade, and everyone in the stands applauded and cheered for us as we walked by. I felt very lucky to have the opportunity to be there, and to represent all the women that could not be there. I want to tell everyone who voted for me "thank you" again, I appreciate the support more than you know.
As the parade ended, I had all but given up hope of tackling any Bravolebrities. My dreams of making Jeff Lewis my gay husband and spending the rest of our lives picking out tiles on Sunday afternoons had all but died. And then an angel in pale khaki seersucker walked by - the King of Bravo himself, Andy Cohen. "Andy Cohen!", I screamed, and he looked over with alarm, probably fearing that he was about to be attacked by a giant jello mold (my dress was ruully, ruully, bright). He scooted off to complete his duties as host of the show, and I bided my time. Finally, the race was over, and the tv cameras were turned off, and we took our opportunity.
He was everything I hoped he would be. He smelled good. He was very sweet. And he was so cute I wanted to fold him up in my pocket and take him home. We make a lovely couple, don't we? Me in my Kim Zolciak wig, he in his Brooks Brothers suit and crooked grin. Sigh. The life we might share picking out tiles on a Sunday afternoon... if only he hadn't scampered away from me as fast as he could as soon as the photo was taken. I think he was a little afraid.
And then it was over. But I had this one little prize to bring home to you all, and it was a wonderful, memorable day. Thanks again for your votes and support. If I go again next year, maybe I'll focus my energy on stalking Albie Manzo and forcing him to tell me the secret to his hair.
Love,
Boo
I knew Andy Cohen smelled good. I KNEW IT! Somewhere in the City of Angels, Jeff Lewis is weeping quietly because he did not get a chance to meet you. Thank you, Boo for your excellent insider details and photos. You did us proud! Best wishes to you as you continue to make cancer your bitch.
Reader Comments (23)
Awwwwww....sorry about JL but this is the cutest picture EVAH!!!!
This is the best post ever. Love every word.
Finally--I can put a face to the voice! Is it wrong that I pictured a 45 year old blonde woman? I have no idea why! You're so pretty! :)
OMG! Andy Cohen is so delicious and juicy...in a good way!
Awesome recap Boo!!! I love the pic of you and Andy. You look gorgeous and Andy looks delicious.
Carry on :)
You look very pretty! You workin' that hat, boo!
That warms my heart!
Ok, I admit it. I teared up! Congrats Boo. Maybe if NeNe has another hat party she'll invite you.
Oh.My.God. I am trying to catch my breath.............ANDY COHEN!!!!!!!
Karma happs sometimes, from making you sit so far away to meeting the man himself priceless! Congrats
Awww! Loved this post. Andy, sweet Andy!
Boo, you recapped like professional blogger! You took my hand and we traveled back in time to relive a little dog and pony show known simply as, Thee Derby. Thank you and, Bravo! (Pun intended). Another big thank you for putting your story, your bravery and your humor out there for all of us to admire. Going to the site and casting my vote for you (and then for nine OTHER gals) provided me with a few moments of: damn, those chicks are tough...I am proud to be a woman. I'm so glad your day rocked and Andy smelled good...I am afterall, married to a chimp and love to day dream. Rock on sistah!
Boo! this is awesome!!! Thanks for the witty and touching account of your day!! I felt like I got a wiff of Andy's deliciousness myself!! I think he can lead the trend in bringing seersucker BACK to the men of America! PS -your locks look natural and lovely and nothing like those monstrosities that Kim Z wears all over town... My applause in making cancer YOUR BITCH!! XOXO
that. is. awesome.
Now I just want to hug everyone on this blog. F you cancer.
I love this picture. The adorable Boo looks beautiful donning her sassy white picture hat. I must admit Andy looks charming (maybe because he isn't sweating for change).
Add my FU vote to cancer.
Oh my goodness! Boo you look amazing! Your dress and hat are FANTASTIC! I am so happy to see you with Andy! I, too, choked up a bit!
I watched the race and I was looking for you as you all walked in the mud. Did they give you those pink wellies everyone had on?
Keep kicking cancer's ass - I'd like to give it a nice big FU too! It took my favorite Aunt away in January - I hate cancer!
Hugs and Kisses Boo!
MAZEL, Boo!
Knowing that Andy Cohen still smells nice after a day at a horse race was more than worth my vote. Way to represent, Boo. You are lovely!
The loveliest badass I ever seen! (Boo not Andy) I have also gone toe to toe with "the other C word" and I am praying for you girl. VANQUISH THAT BITCH!!!!
Boo, I'm with SGM...YOU DID US PROUD!!! So much better then I would of. I'd of been that stumbling idiot that says things like...
Stumbling idiot (me)...uh...like...do you like..know..like who you..like are?
Then he'd bitch slap me cuz I sounded like Kelly B.
bawhahahahahahha!
You'll get to Jeff L. the next time. But I'd still go after Albie myself ;)
A tip of the Derby hat to you Boo. Glad to see all of our votes in the very least resulted in an excellent photo fit for any mantle. xo!
ok I just had to read the post again, 4th time, and he smells good!!
I agree your hat and dress are fabulous perfect for the festivities
i'm glad that i am here now, nice nice, very pretty.
Let's cut to the chase - did you ask Andy if he's a top or bottom?