Friday
May142010
Bonk!
Friday, May 14, 2010 
I only managed to watch 10 minutes of Real Housewives of New York City last night but it was the part where Kelly tried to storm off and couldn't open the door.
Sometimes my love for this show is overflowing.
I'm headed out of town but I will do anything (or anyone) it takes to stay up all night on Sunday and recap this episode. Did anyone happen to catch the Countess doing her spoken word rap on WWHL last night? Please report.
Major big throbbing bikini hearts to all of you.
Reader Comments (44)
I agree with Boo's comment about Ramona getting something facial done. This isn't mere face cream because she looks different in her facial structure.
Everytime I think Kelly is as dumb as it get's, she surpasses her dumbess. Judging from her tweets, she needs to kill the birdie.
@Boo - I noticed it too, and I can't figure out what the difference is...?
I was happy to see Bethanny and Alex have a good laugh together but Jeezuz!. Where did THAT come from? How have I never heard that before? I thought Alex was going to go into full snort and whinny. Kelley really doesn't have any sense does she? I ask you- Who would stand there staring at that door for SOOOOO LONG? Why didn't she just walk around? Leave the scene with some dignity? I swear she stood there for like 5 minutes!!
This episode gave me so many mixed emotions!! I felt totally awkward watching Luann's date with that creepy man!! ewww how he was making those "tennis," jokes, when we all knew it was clearly obvious they want to get it on! so creepy. I was totally digging Ramoa drunk!! she is soo funny....loved the whole "Turtle Time" thing!!..... I can't even explain Kelly, she makes me want to dive into the TV and smack her! She is clearly stupid and has a lot of issues. I hate the way she wants to make herself out to be Mrs. Integrity, the whole thing where she claims to be better than everyone bc she doesn't have one night stands. So if shes so pure why did she pose nude?? mmmm shes totally a closet whore.
we need to get SGM on WWHL, don't you think? I tweeted to Andy Cohen that he should read this blog and have her on - can you imagine how great that would be? SGM, you could totally do it, no matter who they'd pair you with. It'd be great. We'd send in lots of tweets and questions....seriously, that show needs you!
Who agrees? Let's bombard Bravo with this suggestion. Who's in?
This episode actually made me feel sorry for Countess (who I had been hating on so far this season)--between the sleazy Mokawked "That's what I'm talkin' about" producer and the gross sweaty date slobbering all over her face...But my sympathetic feelings are cancelled out due to the fact I can't get "Money can't buy you cla-ass" out of my head.
Some of my fave moments: The "Gummi Bear" conversation--"Gummi Bears don't come from the vine."
Ramona: "Jill's going to be eating crow!" Kelly: "Eating what!?!"
The "grape stomping" conversation: Bethanney "I saw some grapes in the refrigerator, I'm happy to stomp on them." Kelly: "What? No! You're not stomping on those! I'm eating those!"
The "lemons to lemonade," Kelly stuck behind the doors, "kooka-doodle-doo"....it was all so good!!!!
HELL NO she shouldn't go on WWHL!! Do you want this place to become a frenzy of idiots and annoying Tampax pop up ads?!!!! She's OUR SGM dammitt. I for one am selfish and not at all ready to share. Please stop pimping SGM out.
I appreciate the thought, Jeannie!
Jen, don't worry. No tampax ads on my watch. (unless they pay me lots of money, in which case I'll totally sell out and get my nose done and wear titty shirts and hang out with Danielle.)
Thank you. Sorry I blew up ;)
OMG... that twitter rant... she is fucking nuts. She's lost it.
Damm all I gotta say is that I would never do a reality show with the way you bitches go hard @ the women! You guys are thirsty!! ! Queen Bees and WannaBees all over. I get it...I watch and cringe and seethe, and take sides and all that, but come on! Hey if Kelly is dumb as shit, then who are you? If Jill is a bitch who are you? If Bethanny is a greedy ho...who are you? If LuAnn is a pretentious snob, who are you? Lets keep it real and start bringing it to the conversation..Aren't we reppin the normal people? But seriously,I do like the snarkyness now and then, but fuuuuck between Television without Pity, Gawker, DListed and all the other blogs and forums, shit I feel like I need a mickey. I'm out...time to turn the TV and this internet shit OFF!
I actually thought this episode was refreshing!!! Kelly was batshit and saying weird stuff, Bethanny rolled her eyes and commented, Ramona was drunk and at the end, it was fine- they went and danced the night away. Without the Countess and Jill, it was just kind of girls getting drunk. I would seriously love, LOVE, LOVE to go out with Ramona. Even Sonja was funny, diving onto Kelly.
I don't understand why keepinitonehundred is so fired up? We're all friends, this is reality tv...
I love a good "you people suck good-bye" post.
"I'm breaking up with you, blog!"
"Hey if Kelly is dumb as shit, then who are you?"
Answer: Someone smarter.
I feel better about myself when I put down these people- seriously, I do.
I generally feel two things. Shock and complete hilarious laughter. It's a show people. Some of it true but most of it staged, dramatized and skillfully edited for our viewing pleasure. I've only ever felt bad the kids and pets. I can't wait for RHOBH. It just keeps getting better and better!!
Damm typo! Make that "for" the kids and pets.
You know what I love about this show?
1) THE BACK STABBING AND THE EVER-CHANGING ALLIANCES! Ramoner telling Jill that she is one of her best friends and she wants her to come along to the Virgin Island and then next thing you see is a one on one with Jill and the camera saying how she can't stand Ramoner; and then we cut back to Ramoner telling Jill she has to come because her and Sonja are what makes the party WHAT? You should know she just dissed you few minutes ago!
-So now it's team MORON, CUNTNESS AND THE SUPER BITCH VS Alex, Ramoner and Bethany; Jennifer and Sonja are not placed of yet. Please Andy take them to a deserted Island with no alcohol, no valium, no hired help and have them SURVIVE EACH OTHER! This show will be hot!
2) THE CATTINESS
Jill the queen of all alley cats telling Sonja "what you were a model? But yo are not that tall !" Sonja: "I am 5,8"! Jill: Bitch please! "you are the same height as me 5, 6" (she didn't say bitch please but you know that was murmured in her head)
I mean these people have lunch or dinner and constantly throwing jabs and daggers at each other-how do they not get indigestion? Thank God for alcohol and pre dinner xanax right?
3) THE CREEPY OR GAY (OR BOTH) MEN THEY MARRY OR DATE- The Count(creepy) Simon(gay and creepy) Mario(creepy) , Bobby( Very Creepy) , that cougar hunter who caught both Sonja and Kelly( creepy and probably would hunt guys too -whoever can afford him) and LAST BUT NOT LEAST THE CUNTNESS" DATE(Super creepy, super gay, super...) -THERE IS NO WAY THAT GRISSY MAN IS STRAIGHT; Simon ? I can be convinced but not him! And he might as well play straight, the way he was dressed the gays wouldn't want to have anything to do with him!
4: KELLY- OMG there is no way this woman went to Columbia unless Columbia is selling their degrees online and you actually do not need to even attend their classes. What did she study-MORONISM? I mean She can't form a comprehensive sentence, she is not much of a thinker, she doesn't get anything-I mean camon! How could she be a Columbia graduate and not get the lemonade, the eat crow and the grape references?
Do you reckon maybe she went to Colombia the country to take some modeling pictures , got lost in the golden triangle, did a lot of coke and end up somehow back to America and was told she went to Colombia and confused it with Columbia??? Help me out here!
She says she doesn't sleep around, never had a one night stand? This is how it works -If you have slept with a guy who slept with Sonja who has slept with a lot of people it means Kellly you have slept with all of Sonja's floosies,so yes get off your high horse-you have slept with a lot of people and characters!