Look what the turd factory burped up!
Friday, March 12, 2010 
Oy.
I binged on two and a half hours of Bravo last night and have a nasty hangover, so I'm going to let you do all of the talking about Part 2 of the RHOC reunion. What did you think about the husbands? What about Slade as punching bag? When he kept screwing up his timelines and Andy was calling him on it, weren't those silences deafening? I am sore from cringing so much. I have to admit that when Vicki started to throw her tantrum, I turned it off and slipped in the sweet oblivion of a Sex and the City rerun. Vicki sucks ASS.
What about Nene and Jill on WWHL? Nene looked like she had borrowed her entire outfit from Gene Simmons circa 1978, which was kind of AWESOME. But her make-up! It was blinding in its iridescence and gloss.
I know some of you already commented on these matters in the previous post--thank you. You bitches are really on the ball. The rest of you, let it fly right here. Adios, RHOC.
UPDATE: Also see the new jefflewisdesign.com.
Reader Comments (39)
I wish I had a dollar for every time Vicky mentions taking the high road. Of course nothing could be further from the truth. I hope she never returns, the ugly bitch.
Opening of NY has me wondering why Jill would chose a dress that has arrows pointing to her crotch area.
All I know at this point is that Jeana made the show for me, now that she's no longer there it's gone to he*l in a handbasket. There isn't one of these vapid famewhores that I care to know about anymore. I did kinda like Gretchen, but I have zero interest in creepy Slade Smiley. Forget OC, in fact probably NYC and Atlanta too. Once the ladies get the idea that they are Bravolebrities it seems to kill the show for me. I like my reality real.
I just caught myself working around the house while singing "Elegance is luuuurned, my friend." Shall I shoot myself now or later?
Boo, you were doing your own housework?! You clearly haven't learned elegance yet! Really, you need to hire a "new girl" who will shoot herself for you.
Best one-liner of NY comes from our dear Simon (could it be true???): "Ramona, you look exactly like an older Cameron Diaz!" And the even-better response from Ramona: "That's exactly what I thought! Wait, did you hear that from somewhere?" You think, dumbass??????
I agree -- there was definitely something amiss with Gretchen's forehead. Plus, the part down the middle exaggerated it. Overall, the lighting was horrid for the ladies -- Vicki's skin looked lumpy, Tamra's hair was frizzy and Alexis' lips were ginormous. Lynne needs to dial back on the quaaludes! Jim's smug look and Prince-style clothing makes me want to smack the living crap out of him.
Love, love Donn.
I just watched the second reunion with the men and I feel contaminated. All the women have their problems but Slade Smiley reminds me of an evil, destructive virus. I cannot believe that Gretchen is not listening to 1000s of people, including her mother. Just proves that love is blind, deaf and dumb.
Watch What Happens with NeNe & Jill was painful to watch. NeNe looked like a drag queen and Jill was just acting juvenile.
And NeNe, I did NOT know your son had been arrested. Apparently, you are not THAT important.
Gretchen = Love child of Spock and Pat Nixon.
Okay---first to "Jeff's Whiskers" response of 3/12...your reply CRACKED me up!! It's taken me three days to even comment. Hilarious!! I'm crying.
I don't know if it was SGM or someone else in complete envy of Beth's posing on the rooftop and thinking of cottage cheese....before you die of envy, do me a favor. Please. Put on heels and a g-string. Now get in front of a full length mirror. I swear this will make you feel better. With the heels on, lean forward. Don't make me send DEVORAH ROSE to tell you about the airbrushing deal. The Countess was, as always, right.
Ah.....no cottage cheese in the rear view mirror. You now have Bethenny's look. Even Bethenny admits to some serious airbrushing in her shot (they removed an entire BOOB, which Bethenny was quoted on Fox News as saying, "The boob went rogue so yeah, they took it out.") so please, don't be intimidated by her PETA shot. Really.
First, Bethenny tried to play to our local rag (NY POST) that there was NO airbrushing and then came clean. Search Bethenny and Peta + Airbrushing. EVENTUALLY, she tells all. Even Bravo's cameras....please, put on heels and lean forward in the mirror. I have 2+ years on Bethenny and and I guaranteeing you....lean forward (even slightly). It's what she did and if you have a hand-held mirror and check out a full length behind you....well, just try it.
Just an aside as an Upper East Sider....I live on Jill's block (East 60th). Bethhenny, at the time of the show's shooting, for all 3 seasons, was 2 blocks away, on East 62nd on the same avenue. (She now lives somewhere Downtown, a dream she had with Jason I and now with the sequel, Jason, the repeat. What I am getting at is that Beth was a 2 minute walk while Bawby was diagnosed with cancer.) Why send flowers when you are THAT close?
I don't know if proximity makes a difference to the nationwide viewers, but it hones in for me while Jill was pointing out Bethenny's absence from Bobby and Jill's apartment on the show. It almost seems impossible for someone that close (who has benefited and also by proximity) to avoid Jill and Bobby.
I could be wrong, but in the meantime...how about the comment by Jeff's whiskers? HILARIOUS!
Last local gossip...Bethenny's new beau, Jason, dated for for two years one of the contestants from another "reality" show. Remember Survivor? Well, the second installment featured a woman named Alicia Calaway. Personal trainer, from CT but based in Manhattan? Well, rumor in these parts is that she is Jason's ex so although Jason seems soooo reluctant, the Desi to Bethenny's Luci, as Beth put it, he's not really a newcomer to this lifestyle as she dated Alicia for years. His showing up on a reality show seems pretty convenient for a man who has dated TWO people who decided to let their lives be filmed. Yeah--okay. Hahhahahahahahaa.
Thanks, SGM. You do a kick-ass job, but NYC is where I live. No, I'll never see Silex here, but I do have the UES gossip. Oh, and Luanne had to let Rosie "go" because she moved to the Hamptons? It was too long of a commute for Rosie, etc? Well, Andy already had a column last year about not realizing he knew Luanne's landlord....yeah. Okay.
Of course, the Countess and the Count were renting. THEY WERE!!!!!! Once the COUNT (less) filed for divorce, Luanne didn't own in Manhattan so they have the Hamptons place. Even the Hamptons Place isn't the same as they showed on tv last season so who knows? I believe the Countess is a complete sham, but maybe the show is trying to prolong that humiliation?
Ooooooh, that is some good dirt, Nicola. "...a dream she had with Jason I and now with the sequel, Jason, the repeat" HA!
I must repost the photo Jeff's glowing whiskers.
Nicola! Please find out more dirt!!!! Love it!
They certainly are making Betheny as the villian this season. Any more word on her own show?
I watched the reunion episodes back to back last night and I now have a migrane that will not go away. Vicki is a heifer. I totally agree Jim and Alexis are nauseatingly smug and poor Gretchen is clueless. Now to catch up on the NY gals, I'm so behind in my TV watching...