WHO HAS IT? (and a radio recap)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010 
Yes, I bid on the Brass Monkey Sit Down Dress and, YES, I LOST. I wasn't planning to announce this until I had received all of my grants and funding, but I am in the process of creating The Real Housewives Library and Museum. As soon as this dress was put up for auction, I knew it could be the centerpiece of the New York City collection. It is arguably the most significant piece of clothing in the franchise, and I had planned to have it carefully preserved in order for it to be studied by Real Housewives scholars all over the world. But someone outbid me.
When I lost, we all lost. I weep for the loss of this artifact, and for the invaluable knowledge that will never be gleaned from its green angora fibers. What saddens me the most is that the dress is probably on its way to some wealthy socialite who sees this all as a joke, who will treat the dress carelessly and without appreciation.
Ebay tells me "don't give up" and I won't, not until I know that this dress is in safe hands. If anyone has an idea of the location of this dress, please email me at scentedglossymagazines[at]gmail.com. The person who is able to offer me any clues leading to the dress will be receive a special plaque in The Kelly Bensimon Courtyard for Learning and Rully Rully Fun Times, a lush outdoor area near the museum's cafeteria. This dress needs to be in The Real Housewives Library and Museum where it belongs. Thank you.
ALSO, I'm back on the radio with Mason from Seattle's Movin 92.5. To listen to us gossip and bash Alexis' husband Jim, click below!
Reader Comments (16)
" It is arguably the most significant piece of clothing in the franchise"
As if the Alex McCord burlap corset has NO historic value?? I must question your curatorial judgment, Dr. SGM.
Mr. Millstein, I am am currently in top secret negotiations for said burlap dress. Therefore, I will not be commenting on its value. In lieu of an apology, I request that you buy a brick ($250-$1500) to pave The Vicki Gunvalson Botox Plaza, the gathering area outside of the museum's entrance (sponsored in part by COTO INSURANCE).
bravo (for lack of a better word) on the radio spot
Your posts make life worth living.
I will listen to your radio antics tomorrow when I am at work. My home computer has no speakers (ghetto, no?).
I think the only thing left to do in a time like this is to go ahead and click "Buy It Now" on a couple of Kim Z's ensembles.
Also, I hope you are busy scouring American malls for pieces from both ClosetFreak and She by Sheree.
SGM i didn't realize you hadn't hit puberty yet. srsly. cutest voice. did u just throw up bc i said cutest? i did.
Ok my computer Wiz boyfriend taught me how to bid on ebay _i lost so many bids. Key is to have two windows open - one to refresh the time and one to put your bid in. You put the HIGHEST bid you will possibly pay and wait until the clock gets down to 5 seconds and hit the button. Putting the highest in helps you incase other last minute bidders are bidding -- if their highest bid is under yours you score...and you don't have the pay the highest that you bid only right above what the other person bid......The key is the last 5 seconds and trust me you'll be a Kelly Ben dress wearer......!
a
Finally: my life's purpose has been made clear: I am hereby making it my life's philanthropic mission to scour every corner of the earth for a KB Pocahontas necklace and donate to SGM's worthy endeavor for the benefit of all mankind. I will not rest until this social inequity is resolved.
"SGM i didn't realize you hadn't hit puberty yet."
MFAMB, I saw you in your Lifetime movie, and you sound about 11 years old yourself ;-)
Dear Mr. Millstein:
I am shocked that you recall what Alex wears. I thought you would have had to poke your mind's eye out after seeing the bordello which they created in their home. Furthermore , if you were going to recall any one piece I would have thought it could only have been Simon's red leather pants.
Very truly yours,
Frank
Yes--Emily, your voice is precious and adorable. It makes me want to put you in my pocket. Or on my keychain. (And feed you occasionally.)
Listen you guys, I AM A BITCH! I eat Housewives for breakfast, lunch and dinner! I just happen to have a voice that makes me sound like a pussy. It seriously hurts my swagger.
MFAMB, where can I find your movie?
museum pieces to acquire: the dress Gretchen wore when she was "naked wasted"; the shorts Simon was wearing when Tamara squeezed his who ha on the boat; the shirt Vicky wore when her boobs wanted to come out and play; Lauri's wedding dress; Jill Zarin's Cher outfit; Teresa's dress from the table flip incident. etc! It is downright exciting to think of all the historically significant possibilities. Imagine a future archeologist digging up one of Lynn's cuffs!
Oh, this makes me so happy.
Please!! I know SGM personally, and oh man, what a bitch! Should have seen her at McDonald's the other day! No kid messes with her kid! LOL! Love you, SGM!