I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 1. I tried to watch Millionaire Matchmaker last night, but just couldn't get through it. I appreciate Patti's straight-talking advice but I find the show (and her engagement) to be fake and boring. Plus, someone needs to tell her to not wear her skirts so short.
"Um, Patti? That's where I eat my lunch."
2. How does this make you feel?
The shirt should have been left ON. But I'd still hit it.
3. Confirmed: Kelly Bensimon is nekkid in the March issue of Playboy. Wow, what a coincidence! That's when Season 3 premieres!
Of course I'm buying it.
4.
"No, look! A little bronzer on the Adam's apple and you can't even tell I have one!"
5. I would like to dedicate the song referenced in the title of this post to my friend Alfredo, who is getting married this weekend. Big congratulations to you and Sue (who is actually super awesome and not a bitch in any sense of the word)(except the badass sense).
6. I know I told you that I'd have a RHOC post for you, but I think we've exhausted the subject. "Dougall" is not a "psychic," and Gretchen struggled bulimia. Also, Gretchen and Lynne's dogs love to frolic in the park.
That's all, my loves. Keep it street.
Reader Comments (22)
patty and her freak show of office people are boring. Plus? the guys appearing now on the show only are doing it to promote the companies they run The Trash Guys? they wanted to take their dates in the trucks so the logos would appear. DUHHH even I got that one. I turned it off too.
the skirts [her and the blonde] are way toooo short. plus she's 45? girl get over it.
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you know I'm arm wrestling you for John Mayer - still
John Mayer looks just like a guy I dated in college that used to bite his toenails. I would not hit it.
I took off work for Jay-Z, so we better DO THIS. And do it right.
I feel like Patti's "Millionaires" are the biggest douche losers on Earth. And every episode is the same. Kinda like every season of The Bachelor. I'm over her.
Did you read the quotes going around from that John Mayer interview? Holy balls - he's a douche. But hit-worthy he is. Damn Universe!!
Uhg...I can't stand to watch that MM show. The shrill on that Yenta-Tranny Patty is enough to make you poke your eyes out! Plus- those skanky girls she gets to set up with her millionaires? Elch! And really? Ya'll would bone JM? Am I the only one that thinks his mouth/nose area looks like a cross between a pig and a cleft palette?
I wish Patti could get her legs to match her face in terms of color.
Pot-bellied Patti keeps it street, she'd cut a bitch that shows up to her "meet and greet" with curly hair. Now that's gangster.
Does anyone else miss RZ and JLew like I do?
"Yenta-Tranny." That deserves a Pulitzer.
patti's dresses are way too short. if she's going to help people with their love lives maybe someone could lend her a hand in choosing national-tv-appropriate outfits.
i would hit it. i would hit that pussy straight up in the jiznaw.
Agreed on the JM lips to nose area being odd. His tats are a turn off too, sorry, SGM.
I'm not crazy about the tats either, but they give his soft bod a little edge.
I miss RZ and JLew every minute of every day.
I forgot about Patti's curly hair discrimination. Cuckoo.
Never got into MM and I think it's because of Patty. John Mayer isn't one of my favorites.
"his soft bod"? You are a stern body-judger, SGM!
Anon, I'd still enthusiastically hit it. I meant "soft" in the sense that in that photo, he's pasty and has no muscle definition (like me). Maybe he should landscape during the summers?
SGM, JM is so gross! He always looks like he smells bad and sits around eating ramen noodles. I'm dying at the toenail biter comment-- he does look like that!
Patty has that Bethanni syndrome, but way, way worse. Some people once laughed at her Keepin It Real commentary and she has just never stopped. I cannot stand when she talks about men's penises. (Jesus Christ, did you see the one with Her First Gay! Why didn't that guy punch her lights out??) Also, the cheap hoas (pronounced as that crazy NJ housewife would say it) she has on that show are retarded and the men look/dress/act like they are Slade/Simon level "millionaires," IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Slade is totally going to worm his way onto that show when Gretchen dumps him when Jeff''s inheritence runs out and she can't pick up the tabs anymore for that dirtball.
Patti is physically so grotesque it is hard to look at her. Her face has that thick waxen coating. She looks embalmed.
I would do Slade before I let JMayer near me. Twice.
Yeah, but did you read the interview with JM? He wants a vadge he can pitch a tent and hang out in for an entire weekend. That's just sad!
Gosh, every season I try to make an effort to watch MM but cannot stand Patti or her millionaires. Sorry, but if you have millions and are thinking Patti is gonna help, you deserve the hos she serves.
Himmm, JM? No, even the whole arm full of tatoos won't help...
SGM, I am a stay at home mom and feel as if you tease me when you don't blog about RHOOC weekly. You are my guilty pleasure, please, please blog!
so over patti! I watched the first couple seasons but now I'm just mehhhh... I have better things to be doing. like rewatching DVR'd housewives and tabatha :D