"I need a straw for my whiskeeeeeee!"
Tuesday, July 21, 2009 
I finally watched Andy Cohen's new show Watch What Happens and I am happy to report that I thought it was delightful. Despite the fact that there was absolutely no new information (except possibly the viewer question "did you know you get more buzzed from a straw?"), it was still worth watching because we saw a new side of Andy, a side that was slightly drunk, sweaty and charmingly brazen. When he expressed his desire for a straw, complete with pubescent voice-cracking, I thought I was going to pass out on the floor. He gets PAID to do this? Only in America, my friends.
Here are some highlights:
1. Andy does freestyle pop culture commentary at the top of the show wherein he talks about how the new Big Brother set looks cheap and crappy. With drink in hand, he gestures to his set and says "we pulled the Bravo clubhouse out of our butts for 5k!" This was our first hint that maybe this wasn't Andy's first whiskey of the night.
2. Andy "interviews" RHONJ's Danielle Staub, which is to say that he just makes fun of her the whole time. It's pretty much all over her head as she tries to answer his questions seriously: "I am working on changing the shape of my eyebrows" and "No, [not a mafia contract but] a contract for the show." If I would have been there, I would have poked him in the chest, not in defense of Danielle, but because Andy would have gone "OWWWWWWW" and then stumbled backwards into the bookcase full of knick-knacks and slurred "Oh shit, did I break anything? Did I? Oh God, I am hammered."
3. Next is the phone "booty" call with Sarah Jessica Parker. Chug-a-lug!
She and Andy are obvs friends in real life and the call was filled with inside jokes, e.g. SJP pointedly calling him Andrew. I didn't really appreciate her familiarity (in other words, BACK the fuck OFF, SJ), but I did chuckle when Andy said he was going to send her some fried chicken from his favorite Sag Harbor eatery so she could blend it up and bottle-feed it to her new babies.
Yes, Andy, that was funny. At this point, I wanted to stick a Totinos pizza in the oven and let him have at it before he passed out. I can't wait to see what he does this Thursday, and whether he's as mischievous/nervous/drunk. Guests will be Isaac Mizrahi, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos.
Also on Thursday, a lost footage episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta will air. (Note to Bravo: ENOUGH of the lost footage! Everyone knows it's mostly recycled scenes.) We shall discuss.
One last thing--anyone watch My Life on the D-List? Did you see Kathy getting kicked off of the stage at the Apollo? AWKWARD. I had to run out of the room.
Reader Comments (13)
But we did learn something new in the episode....we learned who Danielle's agent was and where he works. lol She's some piece of work that one.
Andy looked totally bombed and unprofessional. I had zero interest in the SJP interview.
Missed Andy's show but did see Kathy Griffin's. Apollo footage was totally awkward. I used to love her, but now I am over her. It all seems so forced .
I can't wait to watch Andy's show now.
I did see Kathy. Oh. Dear. It was painful to watch.
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I loved Andy's show. He cracked me up! I haven't watched the end of The D-List. now I'm afraid to.
Can't wait to catch this-Bravo loves to re-air things every 15 minutes, so I should have no trouble tracking it down. I DID see Kathy Griffin get played off the stage at the Apollo, then get a dressing down backstage.Really painful to watch.
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Sorry for the d-list spoiler--but you must watch the end to see how it goes down. Incredible that that would bring her down but not talk of snorting coke with Whitney.
YES, I did see poor Kathy last night (actually I saw her live a week before, and she talked about the Apollo incident...)! Why do people insist on booking her at venues when they know children will be there? Has anyone SEEN her show? It's freaking hilarious as hell, but well...it's neither work-safe nor kid-friendly.
kathy's show was horrid to watch the whole thing at the Apollo was just painful
man now I want to see Andy all drunk as a skunk. I know a casting director for Big Brother...they won't be happy to hear the diss ;)
what a great premise for a show. Just keep drinking and see what happens.
Man... I love me some Isaac Mizrahi I want to be his beard, have his gaybies so there are little isaac's running around touching their head saying "darling ...do you think I might have another bottle" and you look fabulous mother!
Maybe he's a fan of Dean Martin's old tv show? That guy was drunk all the time, I think they actually served hard liquor to the guests on air, but he was still very funny and interesting. Plus, Martin had a great devil-may-care attitude. Just what Andy Cohen needs to make this show work.
Part of the awfulness of the Apollo scene was: Kathy Griffin was making jokes about big lips to an African-American audience. So there were all sorts of anxieties being stirred up, sexual and racial both.
It was a mess.
what fresh hell??? is danielle wearing petticoats?
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