A day in the life of Kelly
Tuesday, December 8, 2009 Real Housewives of New York City cast member Kelly Bensimon was recently in Miami Beach to attend Art Basel and my spies tell me this is how it went down:
"Hi! Hiiiiiiiiii! Howareyou? Ambassador of Denim coming through! Cute! Where am I again?"
"Wait--I think I hear the ocean. Oh my God you guys, when I hold my hand up like this, I hear the actual ocean. So adorable."
"Like, I am a mom and a rully rully private person, and that's why I'm only showing you part of my nipple."
"Like, see how private I am? I am doing these bikini cartwheels not because I want attention, but because I am rully rully authentic and amazing."
"Wow, like, seriously, where am I?"
"Wooo, what were those called again? Fatgirl martinis? Fun! I've been working since I'm 15, so I think it's so cute for Bethenny to start all of this at her age."
Kim Zolciak is (allegedly) performing on Ellen today. Don't worry, I'm on the case and will report back tomorrow.
Also, we need to talk. NO, you're not in trouble, but we do have important matters to discuss. Stay tuned, lovers.
Reader Comments (25)
First! ( I always wanted to say that.)
Kim's "performance" on Ellen sort-of reminds me of Britney's 2007 VMA performance; sweet giggles, voice-overs,
drunkclueless dancers and main performer.SGM, I'm all ears when you're ready...(it's the Greek; big everything)
Picture #5 caption:
"When is the art gonna get here? Cuz I rully like art and I don't want to miss it. Oh, it's here? Should I change my dress? You guys!!...."
Her stomach looks funny, like she had the same botched lipo that Tara Reid. See those wierd ripples?
You can see Tardy for The Stupid Party on Ellen's site. I couldn't watch the whole thing....I had my hand over my mouth saying, 'Oh God....Oh Gooooooood.' She's awful and doesn't have a clue and it's all very pathetic.
Hiiiiii!!! Better in clothes but old and desperate either way.
I'm sorry, are we saying that Kelly Bensimon was never a man?
She's tough-looking, like an old cooking hen, good only for stock.
Can't you just hear one boob saying to the other, "You're down here...I'm up here".
I swear..every now and then I flash on the "take Pocohontas out of her kayak and put her in a disco" and I totally blow snot.
Here it goes....I was in South Beach this weekend and my girlfriends and I went to the nightclub LIV. We got to see Timberland and Ditta Von Teese perform, but guess who else was there...yes Mrs. Bensimon. She was sitting right in front of us, and I have to admit that in person she is quite stunning. She even posed for a picture (I didn't take it...I feel like it is important to state that!). My friend asked her if she could take her picture and (now I know this is shocking) she was happy to oblige. Later when she was leaving she walked past us, smiled and said, "Have a good time." I am know fan of hers, but her happy attitude and friendliness was SLIGHTLY endearing. I have tried to post the pic, but I don't have enough computer savvy to make it happen! I will keep trying.
By the was DVT is really elegant in person. Her performance was both classy and sexy.
Oh oh oh! Send it to me! I will post it. A little shocked to hear she's nice--I've actually heard the same thing about Jo (de La Rosa).
Re: "She's tough-looking, like an old cooking hen, good only for stock." Why didn't I think of that?!
Yes, anon - "good only for stock" has me LMAOROFLOLALO. (I dont know what that all stands for but you get the gist)
Oh. Amazing.
Just....amazing.
Had you not captioned her pics as Kelly Bensimon, I would have assumed it was Janice Dickinson!
All I have to say is that I love this blog. Love it. Love it.
if i saw her wearing that mexican tuxedo in person i would gut punch her.
Is that considered a "fit" body? It looks like a stuffed duffle bag. All lumpy and mis-shapen.
In the nipple pic, do I spy some Navajo jewelry?
Don't be tardy for the party on Ellen: http://ellen.warnerbros.com/videos/?autoplay=true&mediaKey=e63da95e-1058-4174-96cb-00ceb6aec35d
:)
Can we discuss how a good 40% of ALL real housewives are actually men?
Kelly B
Kim Z
Sheree
Lauri
Danielle
Kim is a hot mess!! She's standing there trying to "sing" but she keeps looking back at her dancers. WTF?! At least try and pretend that you know the audience is in front of you Kim! Then she kept playing with her hair, even at the end of her so called "performance," she grabbed the back of her hair to pull it across her shoulder. You know when you are nervous and you play with your hair that's what she did. I can't believe this woman thinks she is a singer/performer. Seriously, I want her drugs! PLEASE!
"She's tough-looking, like an old cooking hen, good only for stock" and "take Pocohontas out of her kayak and put her in a disco"
just proof that this site is the BEST for one liners EVER
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she's fit but I think she needs to cover the shit up now. it's looking old and desperate like a 36 year old in a tube top. Just "THIS SIDE OF bad taste"
Old cooking hen - CLASSIC. That crochet bikini is wrong on so many levels
Someone pointed out that she had "Walgreens' slippers" on in that post with the bathmat, and there they are again at the airport.
She's so in touch with her Pocahontas side! "Yah, like I've got two sides to me. Rugged sophisticate, okay? So like, I've got an oversized gold Rolex on and I'm not like, oh hey, I gotta get my pearls. I'm like hey, let's sling an Indian beaded bracelet over this and go for a ride in my Bronco, right on!"
Did she ASK her cat if he wanted to go to that party with her? Did she force him to drink all those martinis at her feet so he'd pass out on her shoulders like that?
If Kelly is supposed to be a former model/fashion person, does she not know that the denim tuxedo look (jeans jacket and jeans) is out? But I do like the red Birkin. Good touch.
"Her stomach looks funny, like she had the same botched lipo that Tara Reid. See those wierd ripples?"
December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPuhvis Kukk
Oh yeah, you're right. Very keen of you to notice this. We'll, far better than not taking out those fats and wearing the same bikini. LOL
Brad Kent
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