Tagged

Read on to see what Socrates and SGM have in common

Paloma of La Dolce Vita tagged me, so this is me, A to Z.

A - Attached or single? Married.

B - Best friend? My husband, although sometimes he doubts that because I love love love my girlfriends.

C - Cake or pie? Both, sister! Duh.

D - Day of choice? Friday--the whole weekend is in front of me!

E - Essential item? Keeping it real: tv

F - Favorite color? Blue, all shades

G - Gummy bears or worms? Worms because it's fun to stretch them out.

H - Hometown? small-town Kansas

I - Favorite indulgence? molten chocolate cake and reality tv. Combine them and I would probably die.

J - January or July? July--so many people I love were born in July. Plus, I love warm weather much more than cold.

K - Kids? A son age 6 and a daughter age 3.

L - Life isn't complete without? Paloma said this too: good food and good friends.

M - Marriage date? July 18, 1998

N - Number of brothers and sisters? I have a bro and sister who are twins, two years younger than I.

O - Oranges or apples? Apples.

P - Phobia and fears? spiders and being outside in the cold without a coat.

Q - Quote? Shake it like a polaroid picture (not really, but it's the only one I can come up with)

R - Reason to smile? Oh God--everything! I am one of those people who smiles all the gd time and that's why I have major laugh lines.

S - Season of choice? Spring--nothing better than stepping outside to the scent of lilacs.

T - Tag three people: Mamaciter (because I know she secretly loves this shit), JJ (because she needs to update her blog) and Sucker for Marketing (because she's just getting her little blogging feet wet).

U - Unknown fact about me? I was a philosophy major in college. 'Cause I'm deep, you know?

V - Vegetable? French fries.

W - Worst habit? Spending money on useless crap.

X - X-ray or ultrasound? Ultrasound. Never broken a bone, but I've had two babies.

Y - Your favorite food? Sushi and fried chicken. Not at the same time, but now that I think about it, that would actually be just fine.

Z - Zodiac sign? Taurus.

P.S. Gin tagged me for listing 7 weird/random things, so if you want to know EVEN MORE about me, here it is.

a vacation idea and a somewhat unrelated story about my junior prom

My friend Richele over at Richie Design was telling me about her friend David's Palm Springs house that was featured on Apartment Therapy, and she asked if I would write about it in order to get the word out that it's for rent.

It kind of put me in an awkward position. Who's really that into warm weather, mountains, palm trees and luxe digs? I mean, it's snowing in Denver right now, and that's what I love: freezing cold weather in the spring. Why would anyone want to sit out in the warm sunshine by a pool when she could be bundled up enjoying gray skies and bone-chilling wind?

I understand, however, that some of you might be into warmth and beauty and excellent shopping. You're probably the same people who like to take vacations and have fun. Whatever. If you like that sort of thing, email david@modernhideaway.com, put "Blogger Discount" in your heading, and he'll give you a special deal as well as set you up with a super-chic place to spend a girls' weekend or any other type of fab [insert British accent] holiday.

To see more of the lovely house pictured above and get some details, visit modernhideaway.com.

[Okay, okay, truth be told, I LOVE Palm Springs. I went there for spring break with my family when I was 16. My mom and I spent much of that time shopping for a dress for my junior prom and because I was awful and teenager-y, I rejected anything that she liked even though she pretty much has excellent taste. I ended up insisting upon a blah strapless dress on the last day and it was altered there in Palm Springs. I'm sure I tried it on when it arrived at my house, but the only thing I remember is putting the dress on about 10 minutes before my date arrived and the following conversation occurred:

SGM: I feel like it's going to fall down!

Mom: It's not going to fall down; it fits perfectly. Here, put your arms straight up in the air and you'll see. It will stay up.

SGM lifts her arms halfway up and the dress slides down to her waist, exposing flat teenager boobs.

Mom: Oh.

Doorbell rings. SGM spends the rest of the night hunched over with her arms clamped to her side. So yeah. It's difficult to slow dance to Richard Marx when you can't move your arms away from your body.]

Making Amends

*EDITED* I just re-read this post and I think the whole Cost Plus experience altered my brain chemistry. I hadn't even been making fun of my neighbor in yesterday's post; it was more that I was making fun of Lucky that its outfit of the day was something that a conservative Mormon would wear while gardening.

I'll leave my amends out there because I don't think it's good karma to rescind it. But I'm crazy, y'all. This no-buying stuff is really messing with my mind.

I'd like to make amends to my neighbor mentioned in the previous post. She really is very nice--even to a heathen such as me-- and her tending to her perennials benefits me indirectly by beautifying our neighborhood. She does, in fact, have a sad face and I don't know whether it's some sort of natural expression or whether it's because she seems unhappy in her marriage to a sour man who is so tiny and meek that I could bench press him, like 15 times in a row. Oops. Sorry again.*

I hate to make excuses, but my spending hiatus is causing me to be a little more irritable than usual. I mean, have you ever gone to Cost Plus World Market and not bought anything totally unnecessary? It hurts, people. Aches. Deep down inside.

As Dr. Drew, addiction expert, might say: if you don't want to slip, stay away from slippery places. Amen to that.

Have a great weekend.

*This apology does not extend to Lucky. The day I make amends to Lucky is the day I start a passionate lesbian love affair with Alex from Real Housewives of NYC (i.e. never).

The Pool

I sent out lots of invitations (both solicited AND unsolicited) to my NCAA tournament pool -- if you haven't filled out your bracket yet, or you still want to participate, it's not too late. You have until tonight at midnight to complete your bracket and until my bedtime to email me for an invite. It's so painless, chicas. Next year we're doing money though. Don't tell the feds.

p.s. I used to have a tiny small crush on Joakim Noah (pictured above), son of former tennis star Yannick Noah, but not any more. Not after this:

Good. Lord.

March Madness: it's not just for annoying old men and face-painters anymore

March Madness is for EVERYONE, even fabulous awesome women who may or may not know a lot about it. That is why, my fierce bitches, I am hosting The First Annual SGM High Roller Tournament Pick 'Em Contest!

TO ENTER: email me at scentedglossymagazines@gmail.com by Wednesday and I will send you instructions on how to join my private yahoo fantasy group (sounds dirty, but I swear it has nothing to do with prostitution) in which you can fill out your bracket, easy as can be, and press "submit." **Edit** I'm out of town until Tuesday afternoon--I do have computer access but there may be a bit of a delay in sending you your invitation. Don't fret, I will get it to you in plenty of time.

THE WINNER SHALL RECEIVE: Recognition on this blog as The Supreme High Roller of 2008. Sorry there's no cash involved but I just beat those racketeering and drug trafficking charges and I don't need the FBI on my case again.

WHY YOU SHOULD ENTER:

1) It will give you a chance to bond with your sports-loving man, your sports-loving crush, or just the guy in line behind you at Staples who is wearing a shirt supporting the team you picked to win it all.

2) You will have a legitimate reason to stare at strapping young men being all intense and sweaty. Exhibit A--#25

He'd be on my Free Pass Five if I weren't old enough to be his mother (his very young mother).

3) Dude, it's fun. It really is, even if you don't know anything about basketball. But see here for a brief explanation of the tournament if you feel clueless.

I know you don't come here to read about sports, but indulge your little friend SGM, will you? I promise, it will not interfere with my coverage of The Real Housewives of New York City.