Friday, May 29, 2009 
1. Please see the NYTimes feature on the Jersey hobags.* If you haven't already seen Danielle's house tour (also part of the piece) on Decorno, well. You're going to need to do that ASAP.
2. Gawker's recap.
Thanks to all who sent me links.
Gotta go--it's time for me to hop on the bandwagon. Holla, Nuggets!
*I don't really think they're hobags (except for Danielle, of course). I was just trying to show off.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 
"Well look at that! She really does have a pussy."*It's time to discuss the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
1. So many of you have generously filled my inbox with news that Danielle currently has a few coke-dusted skeletons tumbling out of her closet. Thank you! If you are one of the three people on the earth who have not read about Danielle's (aka "Beverly's") drug-fueled shenanigans circa 1986, please go here for the rundown.
2. Speaking of Danielle, she had several moments in last Tuesday's episode that must be mentioned.
Let's start with this one:
"I have a pussy!"{a note to my Colorado peeps--doesn't Danielle's boyfriend look eerily like 9news anchor Gregg Moss?}
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And finally, did you hear Danielle call Dina "cuntdescending" to the camera? Freudian slip, or an ingenious new word that needs to be submitted to Urban Dictionary IMMEDIATELY?
3. Despite Caroline's obvious control issues, she's my favorite right now. I love that she's so old school--the woman does not put up with foolishness! Actually, everyone is pretty likable. Except for the (allegedly) pussified Danielle.
4. Are you ready for some good news and a sentence that does not in some way reference a vagina? The deliciously gorgeous Albie has personal photos up at bravotv.com. The bad news (at least for the ladies)--he's almost certainly gay.
Am I right?
5. I'm happy to report that Andy Cohen emailed me and graciously accepted the love we offered up to him last Friday. His email may or may not have contained the phrase "sweet-ass," which is exactly why we sent him love in the first place.
Don't forget Real Housewives of NYC Confess: A Watch What Happens Special, airing Thursday on Bravo at 8 pm (Eastern & Pacific).
Peace and pussies for all!
*For the record, the word "pussy" makes me cringe, and you will never, ever hear it come out of my mouth. But for some reason I CANNOT stop using it in this post. I am so sorry. Blame Danielle.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 I am also choosing to hold my tongue even though I want to scream "JESUS, Caroline! What is the big motherfucking deal about a head of lettuce and a slightly bigger carton of milk?!"
Watch Real Housewives of New Jersey tonight...or else.
Also, Bravo tells me that the Real Housewives of Washington DC is in development and looking for cast members. If you live in the Washington DC area, this is your chance to subject yourself to ridicule, ruin your marriage and damage your children, all while making a little extry cash! Speaking of subjecting yourself to ridicule etc., check out the heated Jon and Kate discussion in the comments of the previous post. Who knew that these people could get us so worked up?
(subscribers click through for the video)
Monday, May 25, 2009 
Jon: I hate you. Look at my left hand. I can't even stand to touch you.Kate: Just pretend I'm some barely legal slut. Swear to God, if I don't get an Us Weekly cover out of this, I will shove that tiki torch so far up your ass your hair plugs will pop out.
