Is anyone here fluent in stupid?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009 
Because we need someone to translate this Kelly Bensimon interview from People:
Everyone talks about being green and being respectful of America, but no one has done something that is Navajo-inspired. Women love diamonds and sparkles, but nothing is sexier than Navajo-inspired bling.
Kelly, nothing makes sense in that first sentence. NOTHING. As for the second sentence, I think it is very...uh, Navajo-inspired.
Well, at least she didn't bring up Pocahontas again. Oh wait, SHE DID:
My mother looked like Pocahontas and was obsessed with jewelry, so I really learned at young age how accessories can change your look in an inexpensive way.
KELLY. Let me try to speak your language: Your mom looking like Pocahontas is rully rully uh-mazing, because, like, I love Disney, but like, WHAT THE FUCK, $500 CUFFS ARE NOT INEXPENSIVE ACCESSORIES.
Oops, slipped back into English there at the end.
Have a lovely Wednesday!
(thanks so much to Kara for the tip.)
Reader Comments (20)
She gives me such a headache every time she opens her mouth. It's like if a fruitfly could speak, jumping from thought to thought every 2 seconds so that her sentences are just strings of random words. How on Earth does her mother looking like Pocahontas and changing your look with jewelry even connect?
And how is "obsessed with jewelry" connected to "inexpensive"?
Is getting out of the canoe and into the disco considered "being green and being respectful of America"?
This woman is developmentally delayed. Seriously.
"...no one has done something that is Navajo-inspired."
Has she ever left Manhattan?
haha SGM! This is hilarious. I have a feeling her dealer is Navajo. We must speak with him immediately to get the inside scoop on what crazy cocktail this woman is consuming.
Kelly's mother just changed her name and moved to another teepee.
What I really want to know is, who the hell is her publicist and/or posse who keeps telling her that she's "doing great, babe!" As 'developmentally delayed' (priceless, Jenny!) as Kelly is, someone somewhere is her enabler. And that is the evil bastard I want to get my hands on to MAKE THIS STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
So no one has done anything Navajo-inspired?? Hmkay. And how are $500 cuffs being green and respectful to America?
Pocohantas did not love diamonds and sparkles you twerp. NOR THE DAMNED DISCO.
I won't even bother with that last bit. You got that.
"nothing is sexier than Navajo-inspired bling"
I love the arbitrariness of this. You could substitute anything:
"nothing is sexier than Mexican-inspired slippers"
"nothing is sexier than Singapore-inspired bells"
"nothing is sexier than Polish-inspired gloves"
I AM fluent in stupid and this is BEYOND stupid.
I would think you people would show a little more respect for the United States Ambassador of Wool.
Harvey Millstein's comment is so brilliant, I can't possibly compete.
I love her!
I only wish she'd talked about how, sometimes, Pocahantas gets tired of being in her canoe (being a Navajo. IN THE DESERT.), and just needs to head to the nearest disco-hogan for a sexy party. With sexy jewelry. And be sexy. Because, as we all know, sexy, if you're fluent in stupidese, means "awesome."
And also, let's not forget that jewelry? Is SUPER environmentally conscious. NO PROBLEMS in Nevada with aquifers being tainted from cyanide and other chemicals used to extract gold. But plenty of places for a sexy Navajo Pocahantas to go party, while wearing value-minded, super-environmental $500 bracelets.
Not to mention that Pocahontas wasn't Navajo. (She was Powhatan.)
Columbia.University.Graduate.
I'm sure the Disco Navajo Princess can show us a transcript. But I still refuse to believe it. Brain won't accept the evidence in light of the ongoing drivel spewing from her mouth.
I believe it about as much as I believe Kim Z. from RHOA is 30. Yes, yes, I know there are yearbook pictures to prove it, but the brain can' t accept that one either.
She went to Columbia's School of General Studies, not the regular university. The School of General studies doesn’t require SAT or ACT scores for admission, only a GPA of 2.5 or better. It's essentially night school for adults.
Shmree!
OH Thank God you all cleared that up for me. I've been convinced for a while that I'd fallen into a parallel universe-because only in one would a woman this fluent in stupid be able to graduate from an Ivy League univeristy, or any real university for that matter.
hahahahahah I hate her.