"Tell me you're stopping with the Kelly because I CAN'T TAKE IT."
Thursday, May 14, 2009 
Not me, Ramoner. I say keep it coming! Just when I think Kelly can't get any dumber, SHE DOES. Bitch has the brain of an amoeba. A newborn amoeba! Everything out of her mouth is either completely irrelevant to the subject at hand or in direct contradiction to one of her previous irrelevant statements. Does that make sense, or did I somehow get transported into Kelly time? Listening to her speak causes my brain cells to shrivel up and beg for mercy.
Part 2 of the Real Housewives of New York City reunion was bananas. I could spend 10 hours trying to recount it and still not give you a good idea of how crazy bonkers it was, so let's just open it up for discussion.
Talking points:
1. Kelly's so "insular" (typically poor choice of wording), which is why she's on a reality show.
2. On Kelly's habit of not saying hi to people--Kelly says "what's the big deal?" and Bethenny has my favorite moment of the show, "It makes you a piece of shit, that's what's the big deal!" YES.
3. "I love to explore awesome people. I don't want to live in negative-town. I don't like fodder." a) Kelly IS fodder, and b) that quote needs to be on an effing t-shirt.
4. As you know, I am not the Countess' biggest fan, but I thought she handled herself pretty well in both Parts 1 and 2, and she asked Kelly the best and most pointed questions of the night. No disrespect to Andy Cohen. I LOVE YOU ANDY.
But I do agree that you could use a little haircut.
Do you think the Countess was really starting to cry when she put that pillow over her face?
5. Mario checking out the ladies (how did I miss that the first time around?) and Bethenny's "I think Mario wants to be a little star."
6. Ramoner's buggy eyes are apparently a sensitive subject?
7. Did Kelly say "when I went to the Brass Monkey and I saw the puss on her face"? (at the 1:45 mark HERE)
8. If I hear the word "branding" on any of these shows again, I will BLOW my BRAINS out.
9. Kelly's earnest "Normally I do. I do wear bras a lot."
10. I love Jill Zarin. So much.
11.
Kelly: I want to talk about interesting fun things.Bethenny: Like stuff? Let's talk about STUFF.
Andy Cohen: We're going over what happened this season on the show.
Kelly: But I'm bored with it.
OMFG.
12. NYC Prep looks so TRASHY and that's why we're going to watch it.
13. Alex. Mute but for two sentences while trying to translate for the K-bomb.
MAZEL on finishing the season, everyone! Obviously I thought the best parts of the reunion were Kelly's. What do you think? What did I miss? Give it to me.
Reader Comments (42)
I was laughing out loud the whole time I was reading this. I can't believe that Kelly can NOT put a sentence together and she doesn't even get what every one is talking about. She is totally crazy. As far as the countess, she showed a different side last night and I liked it. She was calling people out. Poor Alex, she couldn't get a word in and I can't wait until next season.
Kelly is the stupidest bitch I have ever seen in my very long life. She's a gift from god. Even my husband gets off from hating her.
A friend said this to me, about Kelly, after seeing an episode for the first time the other day: "I didn't understand there were people like that."
Hahahha! ME NEITHER!
Great job you are doing here. xo
I must watch. Oh my goodness. I have no DVR. BOO.
And I will be watching NYC Prep. And I pretty much hate the Jersey girls. They make my state look like shit, to be honest.
Why does Kelly get eaten alive for wanting to keep some things private (ie current status w/ Max) but DeLeSchlep not only gets a pass but the B love-pat when tearing up that there are some things in her life that need to be kept private??
I was salivating when Kelly finally began to articulate this point when she says, 'wait a minute, you people keep talking about inauthenticity, being disingenuious, etc....here it comes, i can taste it...drumroll...she's gonna nail the point....and then, ...'but i'm just bored with this, really'. No hope...my mouth went dry.
@anon 8:55, anon #1 here -
totally hear you - kelly was almost, so close, so on, telling them "WTF?" but she lost it... bummer...
that said, how much were they paid?
jill mentioned in an article that for the first season it was enough "to buy a handbag" and that the second season was enough to "buy a handbag and go on vacation"
with regard to kelly and season three, remember how beat up alex was in season one (thanks, in part, to bethenny and the "go big or go home") - she came back and looked almost "normal" compared to the rest.
just saying...
OMG You *all* must watch this. God bless Bravo for putting up extra scenes from the reunion. Listen to what Jill tells Kelly and watch K's reaction: http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/videos/voting-off
OMG! I was reading Jill's blog on Bravo's site and she reveals that Ramoaner was a little nervous that Bethenny would unleash some scary info she has on Ramona, that apparently Bethenny keeps in her "vault."
I did notice Bethenny tell Ramona, when Ramona brought up all-things-Countess-sham-marriage, "Do you wanna go there?"
I think it's crappy Jill would put that on a blog (for Ramona to see) but not unveil whatever truth lies in Bethenny's vault.
Any guesses? All I could see in Bethenny's blog was a snipe about Ramona needing Mario to help with her dosages because she didn't know if Ramona was on too many or not enough meds. Oh, to know the skeletons of Ramona...
Re Cloe's clip: I actually feel sorry for Kelly. No one likes to be told they don't fit in. No one likes to be excluded, even Kelly. In that instance, it was (especially) just like junior/high school.
Ann
I love your blog! I just watched part #2 of this debacle...how many times can Kelly say AMAZING??? I love the words that she pulls out of her rear...fodder? Hahahah!!!!
I'm a military wife overseas, so had to wait on iTunes, but finally watched it today. Holy hell! Kelly drives me up the freaking wall because she tends to pick up on one word and overuse it (i.e. inappropriate and insular), sometimes incorrectly.
As to the whole thing about her private life with Max, versus Luann's private life I think they are nothing alike. Kelly said herself that she wanted to bring Max onto the show, so she has no right to get all pissy and say crap about her personal life when she wanted him in the public eye! Suck it up and talk about him like a normal person.
Luann was not my favorite, in fact as a person who is big on etiquette her oftentimes lack of it annoyed me. But wanting to keep a nasty divorce off the show (she never avoided talking about it, it simply wasn't filmed) is justifiable to me because who wants their kids to look back at a filmed time of their lives and see their parents going at it full force? I think that's a private matter, that she talks about, but doesn't have all this screaming on film.
Overall, I really just cannot wait to see if they start getting more real next season. We know you don't like each other, now show it!
On Kelly’s donation to her charity auction:
“She did something nice by getting her ex-husband Gilles [Bensimon] to donate a photo shoot — but he hasn’t done it. It’s a problem. He says he’s going to do it now. We had to return the money, and if he does do it, obviously we’ll get the money back. But I had to return the money to the family because I’m not going to hold someone’s money. It’s been very difficult. Her heart was in the right place, so I don’t want to beat her up.”
I had a really hard time watching this the first time. The second time we watched it after drinking for 5 hours...and it was so hilarious.
I think that Kelly thinks that Jill's name is Jillzarin. Like one word. Apparently she must be scared of Jill, becuase she has not one bad thing to say about her...even after Jill was making fun of her.
I love Bethanny even more now...she was made for this. I have a feeling she has some TV time in her future even after this show is over.
I also liked Alex's two sentance interpretation of the season. She may be smarter than we think...
My favorite part was Kelly telling Jillzarin that she loved her not becuase she was kind, smart, loving, or generous but because has a diamond the size of an eyeball...
Oh and we paused Kelly on the exact same moment and laughed at it for 20 minutes. I am going to print out that picture and hang it in my office...
It does seem that Kelly is afraid of "Jillzarin". I'd be more afraid of Gloria if I were her.
Props to Alex for behaving like a lady in this whole thing.
I don't think I've ever read each and every comment from a post, but this was pure entertainment! I love love love it. Love the Jillzarin being one word, love the OC/NYC comparison (great insight), and love the "I don't like fodder" tee. Can someone PLEASE manufacture that puppy?
Did anyone notice in the recap of LuAnn doing the etiquette lunch that her daughter is chewing like a cow with her mouth wide open? I happened to miss that episode during the season and was baffled.
I found myself talking fast and furious at my boyfriend after both the finale episodes ended. Those ladies are crazy.
And thanks for using that image of Kelly. I couldn't stop laughing at that when I watched it.
OMG this reunion was ridic! Ramona is a crazy eyed killa and Kelly! Good lord don't even get me started. That bitch is NUTS! Always get such a laugh from your posts! And I love me some Jill as well!