Would you hit any of this: the Top Chef edition
Sunday, November 22, 2009 
The Top Chef final four: Jennifer (who looks so tiny-headed here), Kevin, Brian, Michael
I don't usually pay much attention to Top Chef, but this season is different. All of the chefs are SO GOOD-- you can see it in Tom Colicchio's slitted eyes and glistening lips. I recently watched last week's episode (instead of RHOC, I'll have you know) and these four make me feel tingly on the inside, which leads me to...
Would you get freaky with any of them? (Don't count out Kevin, you superficial bastards!* Even though he's got the Grizzy Adams/Yukon Cornelius thing going on, he's funny and his food would make you happily obese. Also--Jennifer. While I might not switch teams for her, I think she's very attractive. Maybe you would switch teams for her?)
Also, who do you think will win?
Okay, HEAVE HO with your answers.
*For those of you who don't watch Top Chef, you ARE allowed to be superficial bastards in your sexual decisions.
One more thing: for those of you who are going to bitch about spoilers, let me just shush you right now. If Top Chef was that important to you, you would have watched it by now. You know I'm right.
Reader Comments (40)
Kevin or Brian, maybe. I dont' normally go for the grizzly look, but Kevin seems like a total sweetheart. Big Teddy Bear. Michael is a douch.
But Michael's cockiness (so to speak) with the talent to back it up is kind of a turn-on, right? Like in a one night stand sort of way, where you leave the moment business is finished.
First of all, Kevin has the adorable puppy dog, teddy bear thing going on...we mustn't discount that! Second of all, all three of those guys are pretty darn appealing, each for his own reasons(Kevin = adorable, Brian = good-hearted, Michael = testosterone-full,sexy). Third of all, even though I have no plans to switch teams either, I concur that Jennifer is quite attractive.
I don't watch the show (even though I should b/c Philly's own Jose Garcia is in it) so I don't think I'd do anyone. All I wanted to say is that I could kiss you for making a Yukon Cornelius reference. That shit made eggs come out of my nose. (And I wasn't even eating eggs!)
The brothers for sure they're both pretty hot although Michael seems a bit rude for my taste. Kevin, no way. He looks like Santa. Jenn, love her! I hope she gets her mojo back because I would love to see her win!
Well, if we are talking about looks, obviously Voltaggio brothers are very hot and Kevin is cute though some manscaping is needed. Badly. Jen is cute but also, most femaly chefs tend to be v butchy, regardless of their orientation.
However, personality wise, would love to know Keving and Bryan. Michael has to be insecure for all the shitty comments about Kevin and Jen. Final two will be Bryan and Kevin I think.... SGM, how are you not covering this show????
I agree with Puhvis that the final two should be Bryan and Kevin, but it never seems to work out the way I think it should.
I love when Michael says repeatedly and with disdain: "Kevin makes the food I make on the weekends at home" and then Kevin wins. Michael has some growing up to do.
Feel sorry for Jen - she started out so strong and has clearly lost her mojo.
I have said it before and I will say it again...
TOP CHEF IS DEAD TO ME! DEAD!
I refuse to watch this season (or any season hereafter) since my beloved Fabio Viviani was robbed of the crown by some hooligan who "runs a fish restaurant" and can't cook fish to save his goddamned life.
I would not sleep with any of these people (not even the sort of hot brothers) because they represent all that is evil with reality television.
Michael.
Addicted to white chocolate; need I say more?
Sarah: Fabio should be hosting his own Food Network show, don't you think? Boy had charm to spare and so lovable.
He's kind of a douche, but I'd choose Michael-only I'd worry that he'd go into a well contained rage if he didn't feel like he performed perfectly...
Hey! You linked to me own humble blog - thank you!!!!
I think you know how I feel about K-Dawg. He had BETTER win! I would actually be happy with any of them winning, because they are all tres talented. I am sorry to Sarah, whose beloved Fabio did not win (even though I am still bitter that STEFAN did not win last year - I still have a massive crush on him and thought Hosea was a giant bag of BLAH) - ANYHOOZLE, I am sorry that Sarah is not watching this year because I think this season is pretty great. Not as good as last season (my favey crockett of all the seasons) but still, in the scheme of reality TV, pretty entertaining.
Wow. That was a really long and boring comment. I'll do better next time.
Mmmmmwwwaaahhh!!!!
Shannan
Geez. I didn't even answer your original question - who would you get fuh-reeeeaky wif:
The Voltaggio Bros, fo SHO, with a side of Tom Colicchio. YUM.
Brian, but as someone else said Michael would be great for a one time gig. :)
I like Brian or Kevin to win. Michael needs to be knocked down a couple notches & stop being a punk.
Kevin, because he's the only one with a decent personality!
ok the voltaggio bros freak me out. they probably do it with each other.
still i might let the older brother slip me the high hard one. only after he made me something delicious.
the other brother is too much of a bitch.
jennifer aka lisa simpson is awesome. but my money is on kevin, i have eaten at his restaurant (eli's too) and it was amazeballs.
i would do it with colicchio..in a second.
LOVE LOVE LOVE Top Chef.
Brian, hands down. But Michael has the asshole appeal. Treat me like dirt for one night, baby. Oh the sweet agony.
I totally want to see a V-bros smackdown in the finale, and I better see some long-repressed resentments bubble to the surface. I want frying pans flying, insults hurling, bleeps all over the place. Something better provoke them, I'm looking at YOU, Top Chef Producers.
Kevin's kind of a teddy bear (which I enjoy) and makes comfort food, so I wouldn't be opposed to settling down with him. But like Sarah, it's Fabio who is my once and future Top Chef.
I cherish Fabio in the same way that you do Jeff Lewis. I really liked Jeff from last season too, but that was less because of his cooking/personality and more because of his dreamy hair flips. But UGH! FABIO! I'm not willing to fight Sarah over Fabs though, she seems a little hungrier for the Italian Stallion than I am.
I think one of the Voltaggios FTW. But I don't care so much anymore since they picked Hosea last season. Shannan said it best: Hosea was a giant bag of BLAH!
I love Kevin, I think he's adorable, and doable. LOL
Jen? I think she's full of the FUG.
Brian is a nice guy, Michael needs his ass whooped. Neither of them would be on my short list.
kevin, who got into m.i.t. on a full scholaship? and didnt take it because his passions for food were calling him? who loves to play horseshoes? who has a pig tattooed on his arm? who loves his grandma? sign me up for that shiz now! the other three pale in comparison. want to chill on a double recliner with him and eat some homemade pork rinds.
top chef is great, but it did used to be better. the challenges seem lame.
love it though, it gets the creative juices going.
"want to chlll on a double recliner with him and eat some homemade pork rinds"
You took the words right out of my mouth, baby! I enjoy Kevin and you know why? I have ALWAYS had a thing for Yukon Cornelius, since I was a kid, I tell ya.
I might take a round with all four (AT THE SAME TIME) with a little Colicchio and Padma for dessert!
Didn't Kevin say on one episode that he still lived with his parents? If so, how much experience in the bedroom or wherever one decides to do it can he have? Might be important to consider in this discussion.
For all those Colicchio fans out there....your lust would eventually wear off with constantly having to push him around in a wheelchair and having to replace the batteries in his hearing aids....
Go for the young bucks
Because Brian is getting all of the love, I opt for his brother Michael. Douche or not, he's at least interesting enough to keep me on my toes...Brian--too safe (read:boring)...