"I have trouble communicating my feelings."
Thursday, October 8, 2009 
Oh baby, not when you speak the language of ROFLMAO.
Did anyone else (with a weak bladder) almost PISS their PANTS at the antics of Deb and Jeff on Tuesday night? I tell you, there was one part that was so hilarious that I was tempted to make a bootleg so that we could re-live it over and over and pee all over our office chairs together. But that would be illegal, so of course I didn't. Ahem.*
Here is your Flipping Out recap:
1. Jeff and Ryan EMOTE all over the place. Separately, of course. Jeff feels betrayed by his best friend of 10 years. Ryan hates that Jeff doesn't trust him and that he's forced to go through all of Jeff's OCD paranoid bullshit again.
All of this tension and expression of feelings are VERY DISCONCERTING to me. Can't they stay together for the children (i.e. all of us)?
2. At Valley Oak, Jenni brings out her alter ego, Deb (as seen here) and solves a problem for Jeff.
This, in itself, is majorly LOL. LOVE Deb. But it gets better. "You just earned your money for today," Jeff tells Jenni. "You don't have to do anything else for the day. Just like Zoila. You can screw around for the rest of the day." Then he does this beautiful, perfectly timed sidelong glance, and catches Zoila lurking in the doorway, listening.
Cue the peeing of the pants. This man. He has taken it to the next level, that level being HEAVEN.
2. Jeff visits Vlad (sans sleeves) at Buena Park. Jeff, who is in a pissy mood due to the high level of feelings in his bloodstream, jumps all over Vlad for being "the opposite of professional" (remember this for later). He's not getting shit done on time, which costs Jeff's client money. Vlad is giving Jeff a bunch of excuses for why there are no workers at the site, including "they are coming from Colarada."
"Colorado?" Jeff clarifies. What an asshole thing to do, to mock a foreign dude's accent, but as a resident of Colorado, I did appreciate the correction. There might have even been a bark of laughter on my part, and then again when Jeff asked if there were any construction workers in LA, ones that "aren't commuting from Colarada." ASSHOLE. But funny.
3. Ryan's putting in a pool at his house in order to put it on the market. My chest constricts with panic every time I think about Ryan moving to Santa Barbara.
"Don't move," I whisper to the tv.
4. Trace, accompanied by gum smacker Sarah, orders tile for Vlad at Buena Park. I have very warm feelings for Trace. He never gives Jeff the satisfaction of a smile or a blush of embarrassment, even when Jeff is working overtime for it. Poker face Trace.
5. Jeff starts picking at Jenni in the car. She's not focussed on her work with him, she's distracted by auditions and calls from her agent. "It's always been a struggle," complains Jeff. Blah, blah, BLAH. Jenni's heard this shit a hundred times before, yet she listens to him with unbelievable patience and reassures him that she is committed to her job with him. She then explains to the camera that Jeff's been a little testy since his confrontation with Ryan.
Jenni Pulos, you listen to me: stop enabling him. Next time, turn the tables on that bitch and tell him that his Flipping Out schedule is interfering with the design business. I mean, he's tweeting, facebooking, traveling and being interviewed all of the time. He's gone a lot. He probably spends a lot of time during business hours reading emails from his fans. Is he committed to the design business or show business? Tell him to put that in his pipe and smoke it.
6. Sarah takes Jeff's credit card home, which is a huge no-no. As punishment (his word, not mine), Jeff makes her wear a crappy $4 painter's smock to wear around town while they run errands.
"Embarrassment works," he explains.
Sarah belts the smock, trying to make it look cuter, but only succeeds in creating a bunching in the crotch. While at the Cole jobsite, Jeff announces in front of everyone, "YOU HAVE A CAMELTOE!"
Jeff. You cannot say this to an employee. Do you hear me, mister? Not only is it "the opposite of professional," but it is harrassment. Harassment that is RECORDED ON CAMERA. If Sarah had half a brain, she could SUE your sweet ass. As punishment, I am going to require that you give Vlad (or me, your choice) a one hour, full (NAKED) body massage.
7. Jenni gets the smock punishment too, for not entering a check in the register. She insists that she did. "He forgets, and I pay" she says. "Who cares." I DO, JENNI. I care.
8. Vlad doesn't have enough tile to finish the shower--an expensive mistake. Is it Vlad's fault for measuring wrong, or Trace's fault for ordering the wrong amount? Vlad, Trace and Sarah are at Buena Park, sweating bullets, waiting for Jeff to arrive. There's a lot of blah blah blah, but Jeff basically determines that he hates Vlad, therefore Vlad is responsible for the mistake.
(Sarah, spit out the GUM.)
9. Ryan picks out tile for his swimming pool. Such a turn on. Srsly. That's gonna be a beautiful pool.
10. At Cole, Frank the contractor puts on some music and Jenni just turns that mother OUT.
She's dancing magnificently, and everyone is cracking up, especially Jeff. "If you can entertain me on a daily basis, that's your job security."
THEN, he folds a dollar bill lengthwise and hands it to a construction worker, insinuating that he should stick it in Jenni's pants.
You are an employment lawyer's wet dream, Jeff Lewis.
11. Jeff visits Ryan's house while Ryan is at work to "see how the pool is going." Obviously, he's trying to reach out in his emotionally stunted way. Chloe is napping, Dale is distant. Jeff has no idea how to handle the situation, so after he takes a brief look at the pool, he sits on the steps and checks his phone, while Jenni talks to Dale. It's painful.
To the camera, Jeff basically cuts open his chest and throws his heart on the table. He says that he's not only losing his best friend Ryan, but also Dale and Chloe. He mentions his feelings again, and says "at first I was mad. Now I'm afraid. I'm afraid of not having them in my life. They're my family."
What can I say after that? I love this show. Your turn--communicate your feelings.
*Let's say that hypothetically, I did create a bootleg clip of said hilarious scene. If you don't have cable and would be interested in such a thing, you can contact me via the form on the right. Hypothetically, of course.
Reader Comments (25)
Best season so far for me!
" Then he does this beautiful, perfectly timed sidelong glance, and catches Zoila lurking in the doorway, listening." I lost it when he did this. The comic timing was fabulous.
I love Jeff Lewis!
God, this is killing me. Ryan knows exactly what he is doing to Jeff. Exactly. Talk about manipulation. Deb needs to smack talk Ryan back into Jeff's world so that all is right again.
Can you just imagine what Andrew thinks Deb looks like? When Jenni talks like that, I don't even picture Jenni, I picture a brute of a woman with a softball jersey on and a pencil behind her ear.
I don't know. I love Jeff, but I kind of stopped watching 2 episodes ago, when he was trying to get Jenni to write the apology note for his contractor to sign, and he told her to write "Jenni Pulos, formerly Jenni Pulos Elwood". That's just mean. Can't he just be mean to other people, and nice to Jenni?
Is it just me, or does Sarah have a bright future in the porn industry? The gum smacking will be her trademark.
I don't watch this show--please don't hate me--but I have to comment to say how very much your Jeff Lewis resembles Thomas Calabro or whatever his name is, Michael from Melrose Place?
Dallas/GA girl, FOR SURE. He's just more loose, not as mean.
Trudie, I did too. The funniest thing I've seen in tv in a loooong time.
Lolo, he's kind of holding Chloe hostage, isn't he? They'd better patch things up STAT.
KC, I have that exact same image in my mind! Poor Andrew. The jig is up when he sees the show.
Kim, I think she puts up with it because it's good for the show and ultimately good for her. You should have seen when he made her stir his coffee, and then stir it again because it wasn't good enough. Oy.
Leah, you should watch the bonus video clip on Bravo with Sarah in the smock. She says something like "it's okay to be demeaned, or whatever." She could make some good $ in porn.
Susannah, he's kind of conniving like Michael Mancini too. But waaaaaay hotter.
On a side note, and maybe I missed it here, but where was the mention of Trace's short shorts a couple episodes ago? I never thought I'd see Jeff Lewis blush! I also died when he said, "I don't consider myself religious but I go pay to God everyday for opportunities to make fun of people and today, God answered my prayers." (or something like that)
Jeff and Jenni are going to be on Andy Cohen tonight.
P.S. Srsly, SGM. Her nom de porn could be Candy Cameltoe.
that sidelong glance gives ME cameltoe. big, fat cameltoe.
I BLEW OUT MY KNEE! I BLEW OUT MY KNEE!
WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP? I MIGHT STOP BY...
How in the hell could you keep a straight face if you received these phone calls? I would have to conduct this business on speakerphone for the listening pleasure of my friends & family.
I do not like Ryan. He is smarmy. I do not like him and I do not trust him. When you abuse Jeff Lewis, you abuse me. I will not stand for it. Leave Chloe behind and take Dale and his stupid goddamned hat to Santa Barbara.
Vlad deserved to be made fun of. Why the hell was he talking about potato bugs? He is an idiot with his sleeveless shirts.
I have a secret plan: I am going to hire Brad (from RZ) to be my assistant. He will obviously need an assistant and I will hire Trace. It will be amazing. How he didn't bat an eyelash when Jeff made fun of his short shorts last week...PRICELESS.
Also, I am getting nervous that Zoila may be getting ready to smother Jeff in his sleep. I love her, but I worry she may be reaching her breaking point.
K.C.
"I don't consider myself religious but I go pay to God everyday for opportunities to make fun of people and today, God answered my prayers."
This was my favorite moment of all time.
I'm desperately trying to convince hubby that we should go as Jeff and Jenny for Halloween. I'll dress Baddy up as Zoila.
I am falling for this show all over again.
You know, since I'm not working 79293 hours a week and have time for TV.
HOWEVER, Jeff Lewis needs to stop with the lip injections. He doesn't need them and I think he's beautiful just the way he is.
ANGER STEMS FROM HURT.
Brilliant recap SGM. I have missed you. Jeff Lewis has missed you.
I think Jenni stays with him because right now this is a pretty damn good gig she has. She obviously doesnt get to go to many auditions, so this is IT. I do hope some casting agent sees the Deb routine and casts her in a role as a Diesel Dyke.
As for the over the shoulder glance at Zoila. Was it me or was it too scripted? Mind you, I still ROFLMAO but it seemed too "planned".
Amen on the lip injections - he needs to quit. Now.
I'd love to hear you ladies, after you got one look at Jeff without his wig.
I think it's a little insulting to Jenni that he hired Candy Cameltoe. I mean, Jenni is a smart, funny person and CC is... What a sweet girl, but come on. It sort of reminds me of Jeanna hiring that big ole hairy "decorator" guy (Tuscan style a la if-you-count-hanging-up-"Prego!"-and-"Ciao!"-signs-in-your-kitchen-and-plastic-grapes-above-your-cabinets-as-Eyetalian) because he emailed her. Trace, on the other hand, who, I realize DID just email him, GETS IT. I feel like he saw the show, realized Jeff was him in 20 years (okay, 10, Jeff, since you got all that Botox), and thought, "I can TAKE him!!!" I love it. Jeff wants to crack him. But JEFF!!! LET TRACE TAKE THAT PROJECT! It's cute that you act like an ahole and we know you're not, but that's the thing-- not allowing him to take that project is TRULY aholish! And what does he think, that a woman like Jenni was going to be his shadow FOR ETERNITY? Please note, this is said with love and concern, dear JEff. I do not want to see your little world fall apart. Ugh. And that Dale. Gross little tiny beard under the lip and that dumb ass hat. I feel like when people wear hats on TV and it's not the Kentucky Derby, England, or a black Baptist church in Mississippi it looks retarded. Like they thought it would be really cool and they must have tried it on in the mirror and looked at themselves from all angles. Kind of like a person with perfectly good vision wearing sunglasses inside. Very eighth-grade-I-think-this-is-teenager-looking.
Has anyone googled Jeff Lewis? It comes up "Jeff Lewis Tragedy" and "Jeff Lewis Death". I'm assuming this is all bogus since Jeff and Jenni were on Bonnie Hunt yesterday. Does anyone know what the "tragedy" is?
did you try binging it?
I hate to disappoint; the tragedy wasn't Chaz Dean's death, it was however, the passing of Spirit.
SGM: Is your name by chance Jasper?
www.bravotv.com/watch-what-happens-live/videos/web-exclusive-jeff-and-jenni-take-your-calls-pt-1
;)
Deb was brilliant. I don't think I've seen him laugh as hard as he did on that episode. it was kinda refreshing!
I think Jeff was giving Jenni a hard time about the audition thing *wink* so that anyone who may be watching will remember that she's an actress *wink* looking for acting jobs.
He's adorable though. I'm not sure I trust Ryan either. That website thing? Dirtbaggy.