Even more superficial judging
Thursday, January 31, 2008 
I don't judge a person by his or her taste in music. Our attachment to music, especially bad music, can often be sentimental; for example, you were listening to Just a Gigolo by David Lee Roth when your high school crush acknowledged your existence with a "hey, are you going to eat those hushpuppies?" so DLR is on your ipod. Conversely, Fight for Your Right by the Beastie Boys may make you feel hot with embarrassment because it reminds you of the time you drove past your high school boyfriend's house only to see him in the front yard, smashed up against a car, making out with a girl named Bernadette. Not that that happened to me. But this song will never appear on my ipod.
So if you have bad music on your ipod, it's no big deal. Dude, I have 3 John Mayer cds on my ipod. I have no room to judge anyone on the music front.
Lest you think I am getting all deep on you, I do judge people by books. In fact, it is my favorite judging method, for it's very efficient. If your favorite book is Bridges of Madison County, we must part ways immediately. We will simply not get along if this sort of thing makes your heart pound. As for The Notebook (not the movie--I haven't seen the movie and I know many of you have free-passed Ryan Gosling based on this movie) we can be friends, but I'll get weird on you when you talk about how much you loved it.
God help you if you give me The Saving Graces and say "you're really going to love this!" because I will take it as a personal insult. You're just better off to admit that you have never read a book at all, as Posh and my brother-in-law have done, and I respect that kind of honesty.
Do you judge people by music or books? What kind of music and which books?
Thanks to Kate O'Connor for this funny hanky photo found via My Love for You Is a Stampede of Wild Horses
Reader Comments (21)
3 John Mayer CDs? Seriously?!
I judge by music. It's more personal and everyone reads books they don't want to cop to. Remember those "dirty book covers" from when you were a kid?
Yeah, that's pretty fair. I do judge people by their music though, if its what they listen to all the time..but a few tacky old sentimental songs I can live with (hell, half my ipod is full of those kinds of songs!) Books are definitely a good judge of character, and the fact that Posh readily admits she's never read one says a lot!
I actually prefer to judge people based on their personal grooming, judgement in dressing themselves, and favorite movies and TV shows. Everybody reads shitty books and listens to shitty music sometimes, but there is never any excuse for the way some people go out in public. Nor is there ever any excuse for going to see a Martin Lawrence movie.
So what do you read? I have to admit I judge by music as shallow as it may seem. Music is with me 24/7 and I can put a place and time on every song I hear that I know. LOVE your blog SGM and am a Rcky Mnt gal myself. God knows you may live around the block from me. You are a scream and make me laugh on a daily basis. Please keep it up!
I judge people by their music in that, if they don't admit to having guilty pleasure albums, like for example, Hall & Oates "Rock & Soul Part 1: Greatest Hits" (ahem), they are fakey fakers who fake and care too much about being perceived as "cool".
But personal grooming is my #1 judgy thing.
If I spotted a Barbra Streisand album, I would flee as if I were on fire.
I agree that judging people by what they like to read is an accurate method of understanding personality. I don't agree that everyone reads shitty books. If you read Maeve Binchy, you're not my type. If you only read Shopaholic, chic-lit type books, face it - you're vacuous. On the other hand, if you exclusively love pain and suffering like The Kite Runner or A Woman in Berlin, then maybe you need to lighten up a little and stop depressing the shit out of everyone.
Anonymous! Hahah. Thanks for making me almost spit my coffee out with that response.
Music or books...music or books. This is how I judge on both (am I terrible?):
I judge on music if people only are listening to what's on the radio because its easier that way to let a group of radio execs tell them what they should listen to. Not saying you can't find a good artist on the radio, because you can, BUT these people then don't take the time to actually invest in this person's album and really hear out their full range of musical talent. These people I call the 'Lazy Top 40ers'.
I judge people on books only if they read any mysteries with glossy covers that are sold in airports (which my Mom regrettably does) OR if they are reading chick lit/bad beach books with REALLY glossy and cheesy pink covers. I just can't deal with those.
I judge probably more music than books. Something I look for in people's musical taste is whether they live in a small, focused musical world ("I only listen to Neil Diamond and Eric Clapton") or if they have a grand, sweeping collection that goes everywhere. I'm more interested in people who are a spectrum.
I love reading, and if you have no books or magazines in your house, I feel like we don't have much in common. And if you only have Oprah book club picks, we definitely don't have much in common.
I don't watch TV, so I have no reference, except that if ALL your favorite TV shows are reality, we probably aren't going to get along.
Books: Has Oprah written a book? If she has, and I saw it on someone's bookshelf, I would run like hell.
I *heart* john mayer like you wouldn't believe.
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I usually judge on music -despite my top 40 sing along tunes that I love.
my boyfriend says I love every whiny annoying asshole on the planet [he's an upstate NYC rock guy]
So if Nick Drake, Ray LaMontagne, Sia/Zero 7 and Rachael Yamagata fit that bill...sue me.
A Jennifer Lopez CD might make me burst into sobs.
I can't judge by music. My taste is abysmally twee, which leaves me in a very fragile house from which to cast stones.
I don't judge people so much by what they read- I'll read almost anything, myself (it only took one Nicholas Sparks book to convince me never to go near him again), but I'm with Shannon; but it weirds me out a little to go into a house and not see any books.
Movies for pre-teens by the Olsen Twins: not a good sign.
I usually give people a pass when it comes to music (I mean, not everyone can have great taste). I can't point fingers when it comes to bad TV viewing either (as I am the poster child). But I do frown upon people that won't watch foreign and independent movies. They don't know what they are missing.
LOL...that's hilarious. Definitely books more than music. I'd say I judge people more by the books they say they love rather than the one's they've read. How many times have you read a book and hated it? If someone tells me they loved The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, then unfortunately it affects my opinion of them. I've never wanted to burn a book so badly in my life!
Will I be the only one to admit it? I judge people on everything! Music, books, movies, furniture, what they eat, what they drink, what kind of pet they have, what they choose to wear out in public, what's hanging from their rearview mirror...
If they're good looking, I forgive them everything. And yeah, I'm shallow.
i judge on EVERYTHING! : (
actually, i think i judge on how one describes their reaction to a book or to music- i absolutely agree with you sgm, and i would question someone's taste if they said to me "the bridges of madison county is my favorite book ever, and i KNOW you'll love it", because that statement makes them both middlebrow and completely ignorant of my sensibilities.
but if it was framed "i spent the week visiting my mother and i was so bored that i actually picked up "the bridges of madison county" and read it cover to cover- and you know what? it really wasn't bad- i cried like a baby", well then that person gets a pass because they "get it".
it's all about context...
I don't judge ppl for the books they read, I judge them for the ones that they "refuse" to read. Like ppl who only read historical books or true stories.. dude- you are so dimsighted that you can't even enjoy a big juicy fictional novel that someone put his/her soul into it to CREATE. Or ppl who only read philosophy: do you only read when you want to fall asleep? And I pity those who call fantasy literature "children's books", sorry- you have zero imagination.
I also judge by the movies they like, if someone's saying "the last samurai is the best movie I've ever seen, wow the japanese are so deep" then I say you have not seen many movies and certainly no real japanese movies.
Books totally! That being said, I just compiled 50 minutes worth of counrty (yes country) music on my ipod to run to. PLease don't judge me by that, though! As a matter of fact, I just finished writing a post on that very subject!