So much so much SO MUCH to talk about
Friday, March 5, 2010 Let's start by talking about the Real Housewives of Orange County finale. I'm not going to recap it, but here are some talking points.
1. Ryan. Poor Ryan.
"So, like, I live with my grandma but she's totally cool with me having sleepovers, you dig?"
2. My husband bet me $5 that Shane Keough would hook up with Alexa or Raquel. Although there was no evidence of them even talking, I feel like it must have happened (with Alexa at least). I will pay up.
How nice were Kara and Jeana, by the way, stepping in to rescue Lynne when she was fumbling around trying to parent the sullen Alexa? Heroic.
3. Vicki's dress. Holy shitballs! Not only did she flash her hoochie-coochie every time she took a step, but when she was comforting Tamra, there was a discomforting amount of sandbag boob showing. Sorry to be so harsh, Vick, but when you try on clothes, you need to keep in mind that you will be moving in them. (For those of you who didn't see the dress, I'll try to find a good picture).
4. Alexis' mom's brow lift.
I couldn't tell a difference. I needed some close-ups as well as before and after photos. She was wearing make-up, though. Hopefully she'll be able to smuggle some back to Missouri in her suitcase: "See? This is called Lipstick. No, you don't eat it--you smear it on your lips and it will attract the menfolk." Oh wait, she lives in Colorado now. Maybe she can do some sort of air-lift.
5. When Simon approached Vicki and crying Tamra, was your heart was RACING like mine? EEK! Tamra has emerged as quite the sympathetic figure. Simon was just awful and scary last night.
I did find the jingle-jangle of her earrings to be oddly soothing.
"Tamra, have you ever thought about the therapeutic benefits of plastic surgery? I just know that some skin resurfacing and a small butt implant would make Simon less angry and mean."
6. There was a moment when Jim was talking to Frank, and he was being pretty decent and kind about the eviction, and just as I was thinking "I've been too hard on him..." he asks "do you go to church?" and DAMN. He ruined all of my warm feelings. Have you ever been on the receiving end of that question? AWKWARD.
7. There is no hope for the Curtin sisters. No hope at all. What did you think about Slade tattling on them to Frank?
8. Quinn! I didn't see her in the show but spotted her in the photos, still proudly sporting her mile-long cleavage.
9. Lauri! Was anyone else a little surprised to see she's still married?
"Gretchen, I think we both know that Slade needs a little bit more to hold onto up here."
What did I miss? Thoughts?
Next up, Real Housewives of New York City recap.
Reader Comments (45)
"It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances."
--Oscar WIlde
"Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything."
--Alexander Hamilton
whatevs. It's juvenile humor, at best. The worst kind of mean.
@anony (March 5)
I'm so with you about Tamra. Strikes me as the type of woman who won't let go of one vine until the next one is well in hand. Scared of Simon, or scared that he'd dump her before she found that next vine? Hmmm...
Besides, she musta known Simon was a jerk before she married him, just as he musta known she was a bimbo with a coin slot. But, y'know, money changes everything. No more money = no more McMansion for her, no more funbags for him. Yawn.
And yawn in general for this particular RH franchise, and maybe for all of them. Since the only reason to watch anymore is to keep up with the far-more-entertaining blogs -- as so many commenters have noted over the last couple of seasons -- Bravo really oughta put SGM, Pretty on the Outside, Richard Lawson, et al, on the payroll at last.
Lighten up anon...these people are on TV ONLY because of their willingness to whore themselves out for their 15 mins of fame. Does ANY. ONE. OF. THEM. have any redeeming social value? These shows are about the "ick" factor which, in most instances, refers to their looks as well as their vapidness.
I think Alexis' mother did not need surgery, she looks the same! Just broke now. With tranny make-up.
Simon is a whack job and I really felt sorry for Tamra, truly. Ugh, I wonder if they are going to get another season? They don't need one.
Surely this is the final season. I could see one or a few on other spinoffs (Dancing With The Stars, etc.) but time to close the OC gates.
"Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow."
--Oscar Wilde
Good riddance, OC.
Has anyone else noticed how sarcastic the epilogues have gotten? "Alexis is working for her plastic surgeon. Jim is letting her." "Alexa just got her driver's license. Frank & Lynne can't afford to buy her a car. Raquel is still over it, still unemployed, but working on her art." I was DYING.
Also, who the hell are all of these people at this party? Those girls chatting up Ryan...where did they come from?
Gretchen and Slade are weird. I still don't get the pretty pretty princess get-up. My heart sang a little bit though when Slade and Jim dressed like twins.
And the Curtain girls showing up drunk? Pathetic, but I'm not sure why I was surprised.
Kara was adorable as always.
VGun needed to lock her shit up before she left the house. I secretly wanted to know Simon's critique of her outfit, if he wanted to be such a dick about Tamra's.
Alexis' mom looks fake. What a waste of $13K.
Simon was freaky. The whole "what are you telling her? we're fine" or whatever the hell he said was frightening.
Enough with the Jesus questions Jim. Jesus can only do so much if you don't pay your bills.
Did anyone else notice that Lauri couldn't hide her shock that Slade and Gretchen were still together? Priceless.
"See? This is called Lipstick. No, you don't eat it--you smear it on your lips and it will attract the menfolk."
Perfection, SGM.
Children, what is going on over here?
I'm gonna make you all hug each other.
"Vicki's face looks like melting wax."
--Abraham Lincoln
Anon with the Abraham Lincoln quote.....I choked on my water I laughed so hard. Funny funny people, I love this blog.
Abraham Lincoln watching RHOC! That's great!
Did anyone else notice how AWFUL all the OCers look on the reunion show in the ads for it? TERRIBLE lighting on their clay covered, alcohol soaked, tired faces.
You know Abe would have been glued to Bravo!
A couple of you (maybe even just one of you) are getting nasty in the comments and trying to scare people off. Let's just remember that we are all part of the same community--the one that loves to make fun of the Housewives. Not each other.
Spankings (not the good kind) for anyone who continues to misbehave.
Ok, finally got to watch the first half of the OC finale. Yes Simon is an @ss, but I don't think he is abusive or controlling of Tamra. If he was, she wouldn't be talking smack to him. I do agree with a previous commenter that she wouldn't drop Simon until she had her next meal ticket. I would bet the farm that she was already hooking up with Simon's friend by the time the finale was taped. She is laying it on thick so everyone will have sympathy for her & be totally understanding as to why she had to leave alleged controlling husband for this new guy that saved her. Not saying Simon is not a freak. He is definitely flawed, The bitch slap comment was way off base. As for the dress, she asked his opinion, he gave it hoenstly & she was pissed b/c of it.
Ugh. It's over. That's the best I can say. I completely agree with anony and Christy that Tamra was already "out" of their marriage and it was clear to Simon that her efforts to dress her slutty best were not for him (and that was his friend - the one she is now dating - at the party, right?). She's been verbally abusive to him for years.
Vicki is the reason for their divorce. She completely manipulated Tamra into thinking that Simon was manipulating her when actually Vicki was manipulating Tamra into spending more time with her. You all saw Vicki say on the 12th Girls' Only trip to Florida or wherever that if your husband won't let you go, you are being controlled. What if they didn't want to go with just you, Vicki... again? And what if they don't have the wherewithal to care for the kids when the wife is on the 10th Girls Only Joy Trip of the year but don't want to admit it? And all those trips where "Donn isn't invited" - to Mexico and Italy and Chicago and Florida - who does that? And then that one trip where he was invited, he was instructed that they were going to "fall in love all over again." She said it 20 times and Donn was all like, "Oh, Thank You, Vicky." And she would say, "You're Welcome." Like she was doing him a favor. I am repulsed by Vicki's efforts to control EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in her path. And loved that when EVERYONE tried to call her out on it, she said they were all wrong (isn't that the definition of crazy?)
I still have to watch the RHONY. I started to watch and the whole Bethenny-Luann thing gave me a stomach ache. I don't know how much longer I can watch all these people mistreat one another.
Gorgeous, You reminded me of Don/Vicki thing that reminded me of two things. What was with Vicki mentioning the size of their rings AGAIN. Then beating the dead horse of the son's choice of jeans vs. his Burberry pants
I can't believe you didn't go off more about Vickie's dress SGM! It was horrible! Isn't she in her 50's? Gross! Saggy side boob, saggy behind, back fat, need I say more?
Love, love, love Kara
I agree with most posters about everyone else. Here's my take:
Gretchen's dumb (dumber than I thought), Vickie's a control freak nut bag, Alexis is a fake phony skank who only married her fat, ugly bloated husband cause he has money (he owns pawns shops which sell mostly stolen items), Tamra married an ass & is currently screwing her husband's friend to get back at him while at the same time going thru a mid life crisis, and Lynne needs to get rid of her best friend Mary Jane, sober up and get a real job.
And I'm already hating NY, which I used to love. **sigh**
Maybe you two should get a hobby!
There are far too many benefits from having plastic surgery, but one needs to know more about its effects on men. In this line, for example, "I just know that some skin resurfacing and a small butt implant would make Simon less angry and mean.", need more explanation and generalization here. Yes, looking hotter turns men on, but do lay out the taming effects it has on men. Or is this just for some men?
I know for most cases, it turns majority of men on. =)
Brad Kent
buttock enlargement