Tuesday
Jun032008
The Birds
Tuesday, June 3, 2008 
I have done something to offend them.
I live in a new neighborhood. No trees. Yet recently my car is covered in bird crap. Chunky, shadow-casting bird crap. This photo does not do it justice.
I wash the car. It happens again. Overnight. Frank's car? Clean. Not a spot.
Birds, what did I do?
Thank you for reading Scented Glossy Magazines, the birdshit edition.
Reader Comments (12)
LOL Oh my gosh that picture!!! You have some seriously ticked off birds over there.
i think it's good luck...either that, or you're preggers.
man them birds ...done pissed or rather crapped off!
Your address has five god damn digits in it? How do you remember them all?!!! Anything over three makes me sleepy.
I think the birds are Team Ramoner.
Rameaner wouldn't have birds on her team.
Think about it, they'd always be trying to peck her buggy eyes out.
OK What did you do?! Think...think.
If I am preggers, then I am in BIG TROUBLE because Frank has been fixed.
They could be from Team Ramoner. She's just crazy enough to hypnotize birds. Could also be Rachael Ray or Lucky mag. Or Jackie from Work Out. So many suspects!
Madame Alexander made a Tippie Hedren/The Birds doll once, it was so hilarious, and I really wish I had it, because the kitsch factor was really high, what with the attacking birds and all.
http://wileywiggins.blogspot.com/2006/10/madame-alexander-birds-doll.html
Oh those bastards! For 4 months they would land on my roof every single morning - about 100 of them. They would crap all over my house and make SO MUCH noise walking and cooing all over the damn place. My roof was a different color than all my neighbors because it was coated in poo and feathers. They traumatized my poor cat. Suddenly they are gone...guess I just found out where they went, sorry SGM!
"Shadow-casting" had me dying. Holy fuck.
I am awoken at 4:30 am every day by the frickin birds and I also am stuck with fresh brown turds on my windshield.
yuck!