I implore you,
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 PLEASE watch Real Housewives of Orange County. I think that the new housewife, Lynne, is...a cave woman.
At first I thought she was just perpetually drunk because she has really bad judgment and unusually slow reactions to everything. But that doesn't explain the big muscles, leathery skin and complete lack of social skills. Then it hit me--the woman is clearly from the Paleolithic era. The split ends? It's because she cuts her hair with a sharp rock. Why do she and her daughters dress in clothes that barely cover their ladyparts? Because she wants them all to look fertile. (how I wish I had a picture of 15 year old Alexa in her skimpy dress. Even her boyfriend told her she looked like a stripper.) Did you see that part tonight when Lynne wouldn't reveal her age even though Gretchen asked her 27 different ways? It's because she's a time-traveler. BUSTED, Lynne!
If watching a real life Neanderthal is not enough enticement for you, then how about this: why did Tamra's son Ryan tattoo "nugget" on the inside of his lip?
Oooooooooh, you want to know, don't you? I'm not telling. You must watch.
What else? Ah, yes! Look what the cat dragged in off the greasy, desperate, fame-whorey street:
JO! AUGH!!!!!! My hatred of Jo knows no bounds! She's allegedly shooting a music video in this episode. Give it up, Jo. Begone with you. Everyone, ignore Jo and watch Tamra be totally mean to Gretchen and refuse to apologize.
Mmmm, yes!
Listen, I know that tomorrow is New Year's Eve and we all have shit to do, but get your priorities straight! This show is GOLD.
Also, I would love to talk about The City. As commenter Decs pointed out in the last post, Jay is part Australian, part retard. Run, Whitney, run! What about the conniving Olivia? Talk to me.
Reader Comments (35)
I love reading your recaps- I came to see if you were watching cheesy Inner Beauty -- would love to see your recaps on the I love myself show until they get shown how ridiculous they are!
Lynne is a total cave woman! She drives me mad! So gross and she is seriously going to give her daughters a complex! Tamra is a white trash bizzo and I felt sorry for Gretchen...Tamra's just jealy! Jo needs to piece out...I saw her video on my flight to Seattle. The song sucks and the video is horrendous! Blech! Can't wait for tonights episode.
Emily, Can you come back now? I miss you. Thanks. Love, Bee.
oh gawd watched it this weekend. I don't know what to say
i dont even know what to say about any of the OC mess! lol and ps. I am so not a fan of olivia from the city! she is so full of herself it makes me want to jump threw the tv and shake her lol its like really ..really are you that full of shit
Sgm, this is slightly off topic, but in case you've missed the launch, Kim Zolcak of RHOA has launched her official blog. It's at http://www.kimzolciakonline.com/
i didn't like gretchen for being such an obvious gold digger but now i am starting to like her, she is fun to watch and jeff, i am sure, knew what he was getting into and didnt mind because he liked having her to show off. I am thinking tamara better watch out and vicki because if gretchen wanted to she could go after don or tamaras husband next. This fling with ryan will be fun to watch tonight (that also is a slap in tamara's jealous face who was trying to make gretchen do something stupid, well there you go tamara, who is so jealous of gretchen's youth, beauty and personality. I agree with you about lynne, she is hard on the eyes to watch and all that bragging about wearing her kids clothes and having to look young, i don't think she looks young, she does look like she has a case of bulemia though. I miss ashley. Oh yeah and vicki's face does look damaged now, she needs to treat don good because she is going to wind up single, alone and even more miserable and older looking. i am all for the "i love don fan club". one more thing, i think kara was being very flirty with tamara's husband at the shooting range, she's going to probably be after older men due to the fact that her own dad is such an idiot.
i love your review of this show it is right on! And your review of the city i agree with you 100% Whitney needs to get free from that jay "retard" he is so annoying. She is so sweet and she didn't even want a sterile apartment way up high, she mentioned she liked the lower brick kind and that dumb ass just iignored her. The other guy, alex, the model at least seems to care about her. she needs to be single and dating and find a place that is more her style. (although jay was probably hired to play the boyfriend, i think they need someone else!!!) Someone commented that he was similar to justin on the hills, i dont think so at all, i love justin. am also for the don fan club!!!
here is support to the don fan club!!! run don run, i hope he finds a beautiful, caring lady that treats him good, and gets away from mean spirited vicki, and hopefully he will get a good portion of the money when he divorces vicki for all the mental anguish she puts him through. Jeanna is looking really pretty lately, maybe her and don will hook up! that will add to all the drama between she and vicki. I love gretchen now too, tamra doesnt look the same this season either and vicki's face..what happened?! I hope they discontinue lynne's story line soon. I actually miss the queen, lauri, now. The show was better with lauri and tammys kids, not liking the story line of lynne's kids too much, and i agree it is painful to watch lynne.
Tamra needs to grow up, gretchen is obviously out to put you in your place after what you said to her at the dinner table about jeff being in icu (i agree with you about that by the way) but jeff knows what gretchen is all about and he doesnt mind. Now you need to make sure gretchen isn't going after your husband!